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Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17924) - you deserved it (1729)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17923) - you deserved it (4422)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17922) - you deserved it (73665)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML

#21295068
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17921) - you deserved it (34809)

On 11/08/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by jlong9071 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (31488)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (3500)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17912) - you deserved it (3087)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17908) - you deserved it (4936)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my dad agreed to let me borrow the car to go rock climbing with my friends. He'd just filled it up with gas, which is how I realized halfway back home that one of my "friends" had siphoned well over half the gas straight out of the tank. FML

#20157652
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17897) - you deserved it (1870)

On 11/10/2012 at 2:49pm - misc - by me - United States (Oregon)

Today, I woke up with this terrible toothache and called my mother for a lift to the dentist. This super-dentist-chick enters in and says: "Nice to meet you, your mother just told me you're afraid of dentists?" I'm 29. FML

#2012
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17895) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/21/2009 at 7:36am - love - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, as I couldn't get the airplane seat buckle to buckle, I faced the fact that I've been in denial about how fat I have become. The people in my row faced it too as I began to sob uncontrollably. FML

#15240526
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (32124)

On 03/08/2011 at 1:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I posted a Facebook status on how I hated the new Batman movie. I'm now single, and have received multiple threats. FML

#20009878
347 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17894) - you deserved it (40982)

On 08/08/2012 at 4:39pm - misc - by Deaththreat101 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I tried to convince my boyfriend to come over, telling him it would be "worth his time." He asked, "How?" I said, "Dazzling conversation of course. Just kidding, you'll probably get laid." He replied, "Oh. Well I would if it was for the conversation." FML

#6441814
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17893) - you deserved it (6330)

On 11/25/2009 at 2:23am - intimacy - by sexyconvo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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