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Today, my husband and I were role playing to keep our marriage alive. His character was a deranged stalker while I was the helpless girl. My neighbor thought I was really being chased so she called the cops. Once they came we explained the whole story and got a fine for disturbing the peace. FML

#8193148
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18923) - you deserved it (6758)

On 02/13/2010 at 1:51am - intimacy - by whathef???? - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (30138)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the boy I like finally acknowledged me. He came up to me and uttered two words: "Nice pooper." FML

#9097770
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18921) - you deserved it (3101)

On 03/15/2010 at 5:14am - intimacy - by shygurl434 - United States (Alaska)

Today, I yelled out while I was asleep. However, I was sleeping during a very important meeting with customers and my boss. FML

#61
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18917) - you deserved it (54654)

On 10/26/2008 at 12:04pm - work - by Shameonme - Morocco

Today, my boyfriend of almost two years and I broke up. Earlier, we scheduled our classes for senior year to match perfectly. Can't wait. FML

#15378969
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18915) - you deserved it (35944)

On 03/19/2011 at 4:45am - love - by Uh oh... - United States

Today, after spending 3 hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

#20163199
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18914) - you deserved it (1485)

On 11/14/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by racking-leaves - United States

Today, I was on the bus, when the inspector asked to see my ticket. I couldn't find it, and ended up being kicked off the bus while a few of the other passengers jeered at me. I found my ticket on the long walk home, buried in my pocket. FML

#19288997
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18912) - you deserved it (3981)

On 03/16/2012 at 2:41pm - misc - by fuck the fucking cops (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)

Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML

#20099884
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18912) - you deserved it (1320)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:19pm - work - by bb - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

#17878442
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18910) - you deserved it (8262)

On 10/01/2011 at 12:08pm - misc - by soapy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, British Telecom disconnected my landline by mistake. Their call centre in India tried to reach me. Result, they spoke to an unknown gentleman, who told them he didn't need a phone line at my address. Reconnection in 2 business days. FML

#365
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18910) - you deserved it (1791)

On 11/22/2008 at 6:51am - misc - by Sugar - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my new boyfriend's flat. As I came out of the toilet he walked over, took my hand, looked at me and whispered, "You washed your hands. Good." in an extremely creepy manner. FML

#19605689
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18908) - you deserved it (2782)

On 05/11/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Lizofsmeg (woman) - United States

Today, I went to my first class of the semester. After an hour of intense note writing, I realized I was in the wrong class. FML

#18766012
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18907) - you deserved it (27295)

On 01/10/2012 at 12:15pm - work - by student414 (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML

#19279309
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18903) - you deserved it (8562)

On 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm - misc - by solyana vr1 - United States



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