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Today, I found out that the tinsel on my Christmas tree is worth a couple of hundred euros per strand. Well, that's how much the two that were surgically removed from my cat have cost me. At least the cat's going to be fine. FML

#20410843
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17124) - you deserved it (12185)

On 12/21/2012 at 5:02am - animals - by I Like My Cat (woman) - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, my dad and I were watching Hawaii play the Navy in football. I cheered when Hawaii won. My dad turns to me and says, "You know your mother and I concieved you there?" Thanks Dad. FML

#6507580
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17119) - you deserved it (3324)

On 11/29/2009 at 2:09am - intimacy - by hawaiianlovechild - United States

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

#20000538
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17114) - you deserved it (9616)

On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend has a three day break from work. This would be great if he hadn't just told me he's having a Guild Wars 2 marathon. Now all I have to look forward to is slow wifi and anguished screams every time his character dies. FML

#20084035
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you deserved it (2653)

On 09/22/2012 at 7:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17104) - you deserved it (50290)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I have a Facebook account, and I said I do. I had to politely smile as he spent the next half hour insulting me for supposedly being glued to it 24/7, before claiming that it's all a CIA front to steal people's social security details. Why are nutjobs like this even alive? FML

#20175635
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17102) - you deserved it (2788)

On 11/23/2012 at 7:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that my mom and her disgusting mess of a boyfriend refer to his penis as "the monkey." And she says that I hate him because I'M immature. FML

#7565920
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17096) - you deserved it (2180)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - intimacy - by emergency (woman) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found a ring box in the pocket of my boyfriend's pants while doing laundry. I eagerly walked up to him knowing that it was an engagement ring, hoping that he would propose on the spot. He tossed it back to me and said, "Well you found it, I don't actually have to ask now, right?" FML

#20446658
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17096) - you deserved it (46417)

On 01/07/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

#20102528
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17094) - you deserved it (10911)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a playing test in orchestra, which I've pracriced over 30 hours for. After I played my part, which I thought I did very well, my teacher asked how much I had practice. Trying to show off, I said "Oh, just 30 minutes." My teacher said "It shows, that was terrible." She was serious. FML

#982369
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17091) - you deserved it (52988)

On 04/15/2009 at 12:17am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, as I often do, I had a shag in my old car. I am 25, my boyfriend is 28 and we are still living at our parents' house. FML

#390
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17090) - you deserved it (11252)

On 11/25/2008 at 11:26pm - misc - by niii - Sent from mobile version

Today, while I was at work, a coworker began ranting about his theory that the government is going to create a disease that sterilises everyone, and use the antidote to control the population. I was just trying to take a crap in the stall next to him. FML

#20048023
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17090) - you deserved it (1519)

On 08/29/2012 at 3:19pm - work - by Pooping - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was nicknamed "Sandman." Not after the bad-ass Spider Man villain but rather because my personality is so boring it puts people to sleep. FML

#20173388
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17088) - you deserved it (3761)

On 11/22/2012 at 2:25am - misc - by zzz - Canada (British Columbia)



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