Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

#17080127
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20114) - you deserved it (47874)

On 07/12/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by sm702 - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my mom doesn't know my phone number, but she does know the names of both of David Hasselhoff's daughters. FML

#14102213
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20112) - you deserved it (3449)

On 12/06/2010 at 12:00am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend because I saw him with another woman. I confronted both of them in screaming rage "What the fuck? Are you cheating on me with this ugly slut?" They were in shock. Turns out it was his cousin visiting from New Jersey, he was gonna introduce us at dinner. FML

#300498
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20111) - you deserved it (190464)

On 03/13/2009 at 9:18am - love - by nowthatsfcked (woman) - Canada

Today, I logged on to Facebook for the first time in nine days. No new notifications. FML

#1529
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (7781)

On 01/18/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by zuut - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20109) - you deserved it (2083)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML

#19636428
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (4746)

On 05/17/2012 at 10:37am - health - by Username (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. About 2 hours later, he got to hold my hair while I puked, also for the first time. FML

#19312067
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20108) - you deserved it (6195)

On 03/20/2012 at 1:49am - love - by notsober - United States

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (3415)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, some construction workers kept going in and out the door next to my cubicle. They decided it would be easier to just prop the door open for the next hour. It's 20 degrees outside, and I'm wearing a dress. FML

#14543942
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (6123)

On 01/11/2011 at 9:45am - work - by bitty (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I woke up at 5 am to the voices of my husband, who I gave my blessing to go out last night, and his buddies entering our apartment. They came here because the buddy who had planned to house them had no beer. They are drunk, drinking on our porch, shaving my husband's head. FML

#19880160
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20106) - you deserved it (3652)

On 07/02/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by furious at five in the morning (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20103) - you deserved it (4380)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was working at a portrait studio and was taking pictures of a little girl, I kept telling the girl to stop making silly faces when she smiles because her eyes go cross-eyed. After the third time I said it her mom grabbed the little girl and left. Turns out, she was naturally cross-eyed. FML

#852242
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20096) - you deserved it (52609)

On 04/07/2009 at 12:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20094) - you deserved it (1948)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: