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Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

by KatzVKatz / 07/24/2015 at 5:51pm / Slovenia (Novo mesto Urban Commune) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, is my five year anniversary. My boyfriend said he was gonna get me something shiny this year. I thought he was gonna propose. He got me a set of sparkle glue. FML

by Anonymous / 08/26/2015 at 3:45am / India (West Bengal) / Love

Today, I started my new job. Not even 2 hours in did some old man ask me where I live, what's my number, and if I was interested in being with him and his friends. This guy is at least over 50 and works with me. I left my old job because some old men kept asking the same things. FML

Today, I received a parking fine for $147. My car isn't even worth that much. FML

by jam / 02/11/2012 at 2:03am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I was rubbing my lips against my boyfriend's lips when I said "Your mustache tickles" in a sexy tone. His response was "So does yours." FML

by Username / 07/28/2010 at 7:20am / Intimacy

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

by cocoapuffs4life / 06/10/2015 at 7:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I was so bored, I sewed my name into my underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 10/13/2009 at 11:25pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in the gym, when i noticed three trainers who worked there staring at me. Thinking that they were checking me out, i turned the speed on the tread mill higher. Finally one of the trainers came over, and asked me to leave until i got a sports bra that actually worked. FML

by girlie / 03/04/2009 at 6:45pm / United States (New Jersey) / Health

Today, I was going down the elevator in my dorm and a friend joined on another floor. He then thought it was a good time to tell me that he slept with my girlfriend when the elevator got stuck. Worst 40 minutes of my life. FML

by smyp / 08/27/2015 at 4:23am / Lithuania / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to listen to my coworker complain about how working 19 hours a week leaves her with no time to go to the doctor and get her bronchitis treated. Meanwhile I work 40 hours a week, as well as doing 18 credit hours at school, and she refuses to cover her mouth. FML

by sobusy / 09/25/2015 at 1:47pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I had to quickly back out of a Skype call between me and three coworkers because my fiancée came home from work in tears. When things had calmed down, I re-entered the call to find them unaware I had returned, saying how glad they were I had left because they all secretly despise me. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2015 at 3:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter and her "friend" kept using crude euphemisms right in front of me, thinking I was too old or too stupid to figure out what they meant. I nearly had an aneurysm when she told him he could put his "pencil" in her "sharpener" next time they studied together. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2016 at 9:12am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

by Ashley / 09/06/2012 at 8:46am / Australia (Queensland) / Love