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Today, I found out I've been misspelling my middle name for 25 years. FML

#6501261
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16110) - you deserved it (35772)

On 11/28/2009 at 8:53pm - misc - by figures - United States

Today, I found out that my apartment complex has no rules against having charcoal grills on the porch. So did the guy who lives below me. FML

#19449205
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16104) - you deserved it (2262)

On 04/11/2012 at 11:06am - misc - by Sios (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML

#13220186
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16095) - you deserved it (25966)

On 09/27/2010 at 7:45am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he has "commitment issues". He said he "cared" for me but didn't "love" me. He did this 30 minutes after we'd hooked up and said we loved each other. FML

#7669897
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16093) - you deserved it (4267)

On 01/29/2010 at 9:14am - intimacy - by rejected (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make me feel better. FML

#7696686
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16092) - you deserved it (5268)

On 01/30/2010 at 1:50am - intimacy - by virgo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

#9026047
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16087) - you deserved it (7285)

On 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, while showering at my boyfriend's house early this morning, I saw a huge black spider on the wall. I am allergic to spiders, so in my disorientation I ran out of the shower screaming, slipped, sprained my wrist and bruised my tailbone. Turns out the spider was a clump of hair. My hair. FML

#3981210
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16078) - you deserved it (39922)

On 07/23/2009 at 3:43pm - animals - by emmey (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I wanted to join the bus drivers strike. I couldn't… the buses were on strike. FML

#473
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16075) - you deserved it (4431)

On 12/08/2008 at 9:03pm - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, the quality of my sex life reached a new low. I faked my orgasm. And so did he. FML

#18803776
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16075) - you deserved it (23494)

On 01/14/2012 at 8:15am - intimacy - by sosadbuttrue - Switzerland (Glarus)

Today, after playing in an online casino, I won £200. Being pretty tight for cash at the moment I was pretty excited. I then tried to withdraw it to be told that I can't have a penny of it because I didn't register my card details first. FML

#3333689
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16071) - you deserved it (36986)

On 06/29/2009 at 10:30am - money - by Jeepers (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I watched my boyfriend's band play a gig. I also found out he pulls the same faces playing the bass as he does when we have sex. FML

#5626846
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16074) - you deserved it (4267)

On 10/03/2009 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by ohnoooooo (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, I was in a public washroom and I had to take a dump. I knew how dirty the toilets were, so tried to do the "stand and poo." Unfortunately, I slipped and the poo fell on the ground. Then I realized there were no paper towels. There was a line outside waiting. FML

#13799884
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16070) - you deserved it (33556)

On 11/11/2010 at 8:30am - health - by sweet_stufz - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML

#19703850
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16066) - you deserved it (4328)

On 05/30/2012 at 10:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)



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