Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my boyfriend joined a group on Facebook called 'Swallow. Or it's going in your eye.' Today I also found out that my boyfriend takes Facebook groups very seriously. FML

#8439216
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22367) - you deserved it (4519)

On 02/19/2010 at 9:27am - intimacy - by kit_kat14 (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was pointing out my car to my roommate. He responded with, "Oh that one with the broken window?" Turns out my car had been broken into. They took my CD player, GPS and Ipod. On top of that they left a Reese's Fastbreak wrapper and sunflower seeds on my front seat. FML

#7324506
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (3185)

On 01/13/2010 at 7:08pm - misc - by Eli (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML

#19421032
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (2857)

On 04/07/2012 at 12:32am - animals - by day001313 (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at the local theatre watching "The Nutcracker" ballet with my mother. When the prince made his appearance in his tights my mother leans over to me and says, "Those are some well defined butt cheeks!" loud enough for everyone around us to hear. FML

#6823422
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (2808)

On 12/19/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by Tights2Tight - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my husband I want to lose the baby weight I put on with my recent pregnancy, and once I succeed I will go on a clothes shopping spree. To this he remarked, "So either way I'm spending money; either on food or on clothes." FML

#14550598
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (9892)

On 01/12/2011 at 3:23am - money - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally felt the effects of a laxative that I took last night. This morning, when I was in the dentist's chair. FML

#13960658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (6116)

On 11/24/2010 at 10:40am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I found out we have new neighbors in our apartment complex that park in the stall next to our truck. Turns out their car is the same make of our truck. And it also turns out that when I unlock our truck it will set off their car alarm - every time. FML

#18942006
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (1700)

On 01/29/2012 at 11:00am - misc - by delamer (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML

#19309374
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22361) - you deserved it (4972)

On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked into the dining room to find my mom popping pimples on my dad's back. FML

#21430988
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22358) - you deserved it (3189)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:16am - love - by imblue42 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a romantic weekend away at a hotel. What is he doing now? On his computer looking up stuff on Craigslist while I am watching t.v. alone. FML

#8230215
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22357) - you deserved it (3092)

On 02/14/2010 at 12:03am - love - by lonelygirl (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized that my ex-girlfriend has gone further with a girl than I have. FML

#7608615
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (4684)

On 01/27/2010 at 6:55am - intimacy - by Patrick - United States (Illinois)

Today, my son got to my great grandfather's old stopwatch, which had been valued at a very high sum, and broke it by twisting the hands in reverse. He says he was trying to time travel. FML

#19990926
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22355) - you deserved it (3271)

On 07/29/2012 at 2:49pm - kids - by oink oink fuck off - United Kingdom (Doncaster)

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw my brother on the other side of the road. He lives overseas and always told me he would visit when I least expected it. When I saw him, I got so excited I jumped on his back, screaming his name. It wasn't my brother. FML

#972350
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22354) - you deserved it (58299)

On 04/14/2009 at 3:12pm - misc - by getslostinherownhouse (woman) - Spain (Madrid)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: