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Today, I used my Christmas holiday time to open up a load of old letters. There were a lot of bills, of course, but there was also a note telling me that I'm due for a tax inspection. Merry F*ing Christmas! FML

#607
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14321) - you deserved it (4663)

On 12/27/2008 at 3:23am - misc - by TodX - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was driving to work when I was almost hit by a teenage driver. I gave her the finger and shouted "F*** you!" making sure that she heard me. I then saw my boss glaring at me from the passenger seat. FML

#14855519
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14317) - you deserved it (36677)

On 02/05/2011 at 5:54pm - misc - by Zeco - United States

Today, I got an email from my professor with my grade for a paper. It said, "Solid writing, but you should have proofread your final draft more carefully." In a moment of annoyance, I typed in the reply box, "God should have proofread your FACE more carefully." My elbow hit the send button. FML

#97434
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14315) - you deserved it (60216)

On 02/21/2009 at 4:43pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, whilst working as a language assistant in Germany as part of my degree, some 9 year-old German kids asked me to please speak English to them because my German was so poor. FML

#13139163
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14294) - you deserved it (19927)

On 09/21/2010 at 3:10am - kids - by themildthings (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, at work, our new cute intern asked me if I could explain my work. Taking a cool posture sitting on her desk I explained. After 10 minutes I walked away, only to hear her laughing with the girl next to her. Turns out my fly was open. And I didn't wear underwear. FML

#194436
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14292) - you deserved it (66810)

On 03/03/2009 at 9:55am - work - by Peter80 (man) - Netherlands (Limburg)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

#18867304
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14290) - you deserved it (25290)

On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

#5565061
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14286) - you deserved it (32599)

On 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by explodingpupppet (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was impressing dinner guests by spinning my new baby in the air (something she loves), when she projectile vomited over the dinner table and the guests. My wife, who had spent three hours cooking was not impressed. Once of the guests was also a sympathy spewer. FML

#1958201
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14285) - you deserved it (39920)

On 05/15/2009 at 6:20am - kids - by Sodge (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

#7563782
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14287) - you deserved it (3831)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

#437815
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14281) - you deserved it (77398)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14279) - you deserved it (41950)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

#15319937
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14276) - you deserved it (51174)

On 03/15/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by sylverster - Singapore



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