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Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

#7563782
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14278) - you deserved it (3831)

On 01/25/2010 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Krissy (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say "Rise and shine sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so i responded "Baby, what time is it? When is this F*ing class going to be over!?" it wasnt my boyfriend talking, it was my teacher. FML

#437815
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14277) - you deserved it (77381)

On 03/18/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I banged into a glass door. My friend laughed at me, so I turned around and gave him the finger, then turned back to continue walking and banged into the door again. FML

#15319937
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14276) - you deserved it (51167)

On 03/15/2011 at 8:37am - misc - by sylverster - Singapore

Today, after a month of searching, I found a perfect apartment which I rented out for the next few months. The rent was inexpensive and the place was close to my job. Turns out, my 'perfect' new apartment overlooks a nudist community. FML

#5565061
266 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14275) - you deserved it (32595)

On 09/30/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by explodingpupppet (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, while giving a lecture about gases to a large chemistry class, I went outside to let loose an unusualy loud fart while they took some notes. I came back in only to see 300 students dying of laughter. I had left the wireless mic on. FML

#5033555
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14275) - you deserved it (41938)

On 09/04/2009 at 12:30am - work - by DrGas (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I applied and was accepted for a part-time network engineering position. Being contract work they asked me what I charge. I replied, "$12 an hour." After a look of surprise they accepted me for the position and said, "Our last guy charged $200 an hour, you're a bargain." FML

#8637301
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14266) - you deserved it (29624)

On 02/25/2010 at 10:39am - money - by compguy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was about to make love to my girlfriend at the local park when a cop caught us. I had to give him our information and hold a conversation with "Fire and Ice" lubricant on my penis. FML

#16724592
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14265) - you deserved it (52078)

On 06/18/2011 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Khrixas_069 - United States (California)

Today, I was at a 21st birthday party. It got to the bit where they blow out the candles and the girl hosting blew out her candles. While she was blowing I whispered to the fella next to me, "That's not the only thing she'll be blowing tonight". The guy next to me was her dad. FML

#2713232
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14259) - you deserved it (83921)

On 06/08/2009 at 6:39am - intimacy - by baller (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was babysitting a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. I asked her, "Do you got your bag?" And she said, "No. I have my bag. Babies say got. I'm a big girl." I am 20 years old and in the honors program in my college. I was corrected by a 4 year-old with a speech impediment. FML

#1490336
265 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14252) - you deserved it (92434)

On 04/30/2009 at 1:42pm - kids - by Nanny (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I noticed an old bell at the bar so I rang it. It turns out that when you ring the bell, you buy shots for the whole bar. FML

#18433358
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14250) - you deserved it (43739)

On 12/05/2011 at 12:41am - money - by Christina - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was making out with a guy in a washroom at a party. Things got heavy and the guy lifted me onto the sink. The sink broke off from the wall. This caused a flood in the apartment. The party was canceled. FML

#14553118
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14239) - you deserved it (33423)

On 01/12/2011 at 10:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I made a Sim of myself and had her work out until she was completely fit, then got her a job and a husband. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk, fat, single and jobless. FML

#19013496
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14235) - you deserved it (37043)

On 02/06/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I found myself arguing with a 6-year-old over a game of tag. FML

#20552543
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14235) - you deserved it (30396)

On 03/20/2013 at 6:08pm - kids - by tspence - United States (Ohio)



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