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Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML

#13886609
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21961) - you deserved it (9216)

On 11/18/2010 at 10:34am - misc - by alltimelove -

Today, I saw an old man struggling with three bags, so I offered to carry them for him. He must not have heard me because when I bent down to take the bags, he thought I was stealing them and punched me in the face. FML

#19820336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21960) - you deserved it (3611)

On 06/20/2012 at 7:27pm - misc - by punchedhelper (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mom found her CD of cats and dogs singing Christmas songs. That is what I'll be listening to until Christmas. FML

#20186305
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21957) - you deserved it (1784)

On 12/01/2012 at 5:00am - misc - by hinowdie - United States

Today, I realized that my dad is more comfortable talking to the dog than sitting in the same room as me. FML

#6981473
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21953) - you deserved it (2533)

On 12/27/2009 at 10:14pm - animals - by hated (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my first party, hoping to maybe meet some people. I was there for 4 hours, and the person/thing that I interacted most with was a cat. FML

#19009363
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21953) - you deserved it (6444)

On 02/06/2012 at 10:32am - misc - by haileypaige123 (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was chosen by my coworkers to explain to my elderly boss that ''tossing the salad'' isn't another expression for saying ''brainstorming''. She didn't believe me. Guess we will all keep ''tossing the salad'' for new ideas each afternoon. FML

#14646268
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (2832)

On 01/20/2011 at 1:01am - intimacy - by welly223 (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while I was out shopping, my pants decided that they just didn't have enough holes in them, and ripped a new one in the crotch. FML

#18864007
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21948) - you deserved it (5133)

On 01/20/2012 at 6:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - France

Today, I discovered my cat's favorite hobby: sitting butthole-first on my favorite makeup brush. FML

#19870178
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21945) - you deserved it (2926)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:10am - misc - by audreyav - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend's Marine dad walked in on us fooling around naked. Now we can only hang out with "parental supervision". Oh, and I have to record my visits on a clipboard by the door. FML

#18785732
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21941) - you deserved it (36117)

On 01/12/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Duplighost (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I asked a girl in my building out. She said yes, and told me her fee per hour. FML

#20097224
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (2221)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, while talking to my girlfriend, the subject of Darth Vader came up. That's when she asked me, "Aren't Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker the same person?" I don't know what's worse, the fact that she asked me that, or the fact that I got upset over her lack of Star Wars knowledge. FML

#19411033
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21938) - you deserved it (12334)

On 04/05/2012 at 7:29am - misc - by Nadaz (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was chatting to my brother on Skype. Out of the blue, and just as I read the punchline to a hilarious joke, he said his girlfriend had been cheating on him. I couldn't stifle my side-splitting laughter, and he's been ignoring my calls since. FML

#19205582
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (8784)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:05pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I put my sexiest lingerie on, lit candles, put some sensual music on, and got my bed ready to surprise my boyfriend when he came home. I positioned myself in the sexiest pose possible. He came home and didn't come in my room for 20 minutes because of a football game. FML

#5369463
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21936) - you deserved it (6441)

On 09/20/2009 at 10:17am - intimacy - by seminole711 (woman) - United States (Florida)



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