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Today, I got a call from a police department saying that if I didn't move my car from a store's parking lot within the next 15 minutes, they were going to tow it and charge me for the fee. I was at work and the reason I parked it there is because it started smoking and almost caught fire. FML

#8984403
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17437) - you deserved it (4201)

On 03/10/2010 at 10:03pm - misc - by ohemgee (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was posted with a very lonely gate-guard. From the second I arrived, I had to listen to him drone on and on, and now I know his entire life story. I was there for four hours. FML

#14932572
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17431) - you deserved it (3633)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:54am - work - by anonymous -

Today, I was escorted out of a grocery store for beating my boyfriend with a block of cheese. FML

Today, my mom gave me and my brothers each a cd of her recent photoshoot for her book. I found out later that my mom didn't know how to burn only SOME of the photos on the CD, and ended up burning all of the photos onto the CD. Some of the photos were provocative. FML

#1617
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17430) - you deserved it (1605)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by scarred4life - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to Waffle House to talk to the manager about getting a job. My boyfriend now wants to beat up the manager for giving me his number so that I can call him whenever I'm done filling in the application. FML

#20085651
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17424) - you deserved it (2957)

On 09/23/2012 at 8:26pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my girlfriend and I had the weekend all to ourselves. On the second day, we finally got intimate, with me doing all she asked of her. In return for hard-work, she took my meat in her hand and started making lightsaber noises, before pronouncing "I don't see why people like it so much." FML

#5876001
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17416) - you deserved it (2926)

On 10/18/2009 at 7:29am - intimacy - by Ignitingmylightsaber (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my mother told me that my dead grandmother speaks to her. How? When she's thinking of her while brushing her teeth, her electric toothbrush will suddenly stop buzzing and this tells her her mother is communicating with her. FML

#20127529
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17417) - you deserved it (1441)

On 10/21/2012 at 10:52pm - misc - by smdh - United States

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

#21306727
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17427) - you deserved it (3302)

On 11/27/2014 at 10:13am - love - by fart - United States (Michigan)

Today, I'd stayed up all night to finish a detailed report. By the time I'd printed it I was late for work so I jumped in my car. Driving down the street, I saw my papers fly off the roof of my car. It was raining out. FML

#20112748
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17408) - you deserved it (7012)

On 10/11/2012 at 9:51pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my cat stuffed after her death. I brought her home and set her down by my couch. I guess my dog thought it was a new chew toy. FML

#4060488
359 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17405) - you deserved it (71411)

On 07/26/2009 at 7:18pm - animals - by Fmycatslife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was convinced I hadn't locked up properly when leaving work, and almost had a panic attack at the train station. I went all the way back into work, to find I had in fact locked up properly. It made me nearly two hours late home. This isn't the first time I've done this. FML

#19953663
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17404) - you deserved it (8425)

On 07/18/2012 at 4:57am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I walked in on my new puppy peeing on the carpet. The trainer had told me to punish her when she's bad by shaking a metal can of pennies at her, since the noise scares dogs. I shook it at her, and she responded by having explosive diarrhea all over the carpet in fright. FML

#19578544
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17401) - you deserved it (29779)

On 05/05/2012 at 7:07pm - animals - by doggone - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17401) - you deserved it (5060)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)



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