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Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

#17857316
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (51026)

On 09/28/2011 at 6:16pm - intimacy - by Hypocrisy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to stand next to my wife at the supermarket, beet-red and pretending not to exist; about half an hour into our shopping, she completely lost her shit at the advertising on the loudspeaker, turned to another patron, and screamed into his face to shut the fuck up. FML

#20164356
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16532) - you deserved it (1992)

On 11/15/2012 at 2:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland

Today, I was trying to get my car out of my boyfriend's apartment garage but couldn't. Why? Because somebody decided to park in front if the garage door and have sex. Complete with steamed windows and loud noises. FML

#7771404
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16531) - you deserved it (2226)

On 02/01/2010 at 2:31am - intimacy - by ocroyalty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV when a Toy Story 3 commercial came on. My Mom said, "Oh, I remember when I took you to see Toy Story. Now Andy's all grown up and so are you. The only difference is Andy is going to college and you're not." FML

#12463713
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16529) - you deserved it (41445)

On 08/11/2010 at 9:55pm - misc - by Chris (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a dinner date with a guy I really like. I guess I was on my phone too much because halfway through the date he sent me a text saying how much my half of the bill would be. FML

#20904456
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16524) - you deserved it (109305)

On 10/02/2013 at 8:43am - love - by Lilly (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, the first guy I've ever loved is going to a fancy rush party with my best friend. He did tell me he needed space to think about us this whole weekend. I guess I know what he's been thinking. FML

#2350
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16522) - you deserved it (1549)

On 01/23/2009 at 2:13pm - love - by sleepy125 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the kids I teach informed me that I had spelled my name incorrectly on the board. I looked at it and assured them that I had spelled it correctly. I'm 22 and a graduate student, they're six and mentally challenged. Guess who was right? FML

#260093
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16520) - you deserved it (63122)

On 03/10/2009 at 11:46am - work - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend of 11 months told me that she's been faking her orgasms the whole time. Just to make me "proud" of myself. FML

#8074818
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16517) - you deserved it (5002)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:09am - intimacy - by evecamp - United States (California)

Today, I climbed the tree in my backyard so I could cut off some stray branches. I ended up getting stuck, and instead of immediately getting help, my wife started laughing and recording me. The video is now circulating on Facebook, and my new nickname is "Hawkeye." FML

#20029971
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16514) - you deserved it (3060)

On 08/19/2012 at 2:09pm - misc - by spasticock (man) - Portugal (Setubal)

Today, I was complaining to my roommate that I never get asked out. Then, at work, a mentally challenged man left me his phone number on his pay ticket. Well, I guess I can't complain about never getting asked out. FML

#8430991
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16513) - you deserved it (6447)

On 02/19/2010 at 12:31am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16511) - you deserved it (38917)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, I got a letter confirming I had dropped out of college. I received this letter shortly after completing the 10th essay I had finished this week as a result of me deciding to finally apply myself to my schoolwork. Turns out that while dropping a class, I checked Drop All instead of Drop 1. FML

#6122684
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16510) - you deserved it (36770)

On 11/02/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by Rman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend said we should re-enact a porn episode he saw. I jokingly said yes. He had an outfit and everything. I thought it was going to be fun, until he started playing Bon Jovi in the background. FML

#8910631
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16510) - you deserved it (5487)

On 03/08/2010 at 12:42am - intimacy - by Ah - Sent from mobile version



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