Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my friend posted my phone number all over the Internet, claiming I was a deranged stalker who prank called her. I was calling from my new number to give it to her. FML

#20081331
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17935) - you deserved it (1527)

On 09/20/2012 at 9:39pm - misc - by Emily - United States (California)

Today, someone I used to know got in touch with me, after I hadn't heard from him in years. He insisted that we met up as soon as possible, and wanted me to go to his house that afternoon. I spent the afternoon repairing his computer. Since then, no news. FML

#617
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17933) - you deserved it (2279)

On 12/28/2008 at 4:50am - misc - by maxiflouf - Sent from mobile version

Today, I discovered that it's an hour and 45 minutes quicker to get the bus to work, rather than the train. I've worked there for six years. FML

#20036934
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17928) - you deserved it (12154)

On 08/23/2012 at 2:15am - work - by ihatemondays - United Kingdom

Today, I got a haircut and the first thing the lady asked was "so do you want to keep the mullet?". What mullet?! FML

#3797
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17927) - you deserved it (4287)

On 01/30/2009 at 2:06pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

#2685483
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17922) - you deserved it (73663)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by zep (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17922) - you deserved it (1729)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my parents told me I was conceived at Disneyworld. Monday, I take a class trip to Disneyworld. My friends will be having fun and all I'll be able to think about is my parents having sex. FML

#7957372
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17921) - you deserved it (4421)

On 02/07/2010 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, feeling social, I went to a bar. During a trip to the dimly lit restroom, I fixed my makeup, and carefully penciling my sparse eyebrows. After an evening of meeting new people, I went home. In my well-lighted restroom, I discovered that my eyebrow pencil was actually my bright red lip liner. FML

#15705121
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17920) - you deserved it (30274)

On 04/09/2011 at 3:52am - misc - by 2classicNot2 (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I learned that when you're talking about your girlfriend's 6'4", 250 lb dad in a negative way, you should really make sure he isn't around first. FML

#21295068
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17919) - you deserved it (34802)

On 11/08/2014 at 10:38pm - misc - by jlong9071 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I acted like I always do when I'm alone in my seemingly sound-proof apartment. I sang loudly, talked back to the TV, used my vibrator. Later, in the silence of the night, I heard my neighbor next door YAWNING. FML

#14575088
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17916) - you deserved it (31488)

On 01/14/2011 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I still can't find a job to support myself. The only experience I have is a month in retail and a summer spent in a kitchen de-pooping shrimp. FML

#19333832
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17912) - you deserved it (3498)

On 03/23/2012 at 5:46pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my husband and I bought a new swing for our front porch. We put it together and sat down to enjoy our accomplishment. 5 minutes into our swing I threw up several times. I have really bad motion sickness, and apparently a swing is no exception. FML

#20074281
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17911) - you deserved it (3088)

On 09/16/2012 at 8:36am - misc - by kacie smith - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I changed my 2009 new year's resolution to lose my virginity to my 2010 new year's resolution. FML

#7119035
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17905) - you deserved it (4935)

On 01/03/2010 at 2:41am - intimacy - by stillavirgin (woman) - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: