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Today, I was eating Campbell's vegetable soup. Halfway through, I started to read the ingredients and found beef broth. I have been a vegetarian for seven years. FML

#15129927
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14216) - you deserved it (49086)

On 02/26/2011 at 7:59pm - misc - by NoMeatFail (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I emailed my boyfriend from work. Out of habit, I absent-mindedly entered my department into the "From" field. My boyfriend didn't notice when he replied. Now my entire department knows I want to "drop to my knees and suck him when I get home." And he plans to "finish on my face." FML

#133145
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14214) - you deserved it (66279)

On 02/25/2009 at 1:41pm - work - by foolishgirl (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, even though I made the point of tanning naked, I still got tan lines thanks to my fat rolls. FML

#17378554
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14204) - you deserved it (40572)

On 08/05/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by Username - United States

Today, while bored at work I was reading an article online about the local zoo and its animals. I received an email so quickly responded, but when signing off accidentally wrote "thanks hippo" instead of "thanks heaps". To a woman with a weight problem. Who also outranks me. FML

#15193678
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14201) - you deserved it (24978)

On 03/04/2011 at 2:13am - work - by sharni88 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was driving to work and I had to pee really badly. I am a teacher and my school was another 20 miles so I stopped on the side of the road. About halfway through, a bus full of laughing kids went by. They were all my students. My pants were down. FML

#4714998
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14199) - you deserved it (41640)

On 08/21/2009 at 6:15pm - kids - by mrteacher (man) - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I sent a cover letter to a potential employer. In the letter, I talked about my great attention to detail, my strong ability to focus, and my stellar writing skills. After hitting send, I reread the letter and noticed that I typed my name "B-R-A-I-N." My name is Brian. FML

#1008813
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14198) - you deserved it (50816)

On 04/16/2009 at 12:09am - work - by jusfonzin (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I jokingly told my girlfriend that sperm kills acne, she laughed and said "so that's how you got rid of yours so fast" then continued to text all her friends and tell them. FML

#16957068
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14198) - you deserved it (42974)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:51am - intimacy - by fmylife7721 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting in a coffee shop when the weird guy who had been pacing the store talking to himself approached our table. He looked at me, and in all seriousness, said, "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but your butt crack is showing." FML

#4089919
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14195) - you deserved it (40228)

On 07/27/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I gave my little brother my iPhone so he could play a game. I soon forgot about it, and when I got it back two hours later, there was pudding and a couple of big cracks in it. FML

#19166508
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14192) - you deserved it (26451)

On 02/26/2012 at 8:53am - kids - by unknown - United States (Maryland)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14189) - you deserved it (51149) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

#4982
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14188) - you deserved it (24575)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was shopping for rings with my fiancée. We spent over 2 hours selecting the perfect ring and diamond to match. When filling out the paperwork I discovered I left my wallet at home. She had to pay the 20% down payment for the ring. FML

#3369756
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14180) - you deserved it (46942)

On 06/30/2009 at 3:55pm - love - by BrokeInLove - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was walking down the street when a homeless man asked me for some spare change. I told him I didn't have any. I then tripped. Not only spilling the soda I was drinking all over myself, but also spilling the spare change I had from buying it. FML

#187385
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14178) - you deserved it (99080)

On 03/02/2009 at 7:11pm - money - by hlev24 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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