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Today, I was driving on the freeway in the back seat of my friends car. I looked over to the left and was greeted by a van full of adolescent boys waving and making the "call me" hand gesture. I then happened to looked down and realized that my right boob was completely out of my top. FML

#240249
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16058) - you deserved it (48674)

On 03/08/2009 at 3:11am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my parents heard me leaving my room at 2 am, and freaked out because they thought I was sneaking out. I was too embarrassed to tell them that I was getting food instead of having a social life. FML

#17478101
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16055) - you deserved it (19558)

On 08/15/2011 at 4:15am - misc - by Michelle - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

#869023
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16052) - you deserved it (90274)

On 04/08/2009 at 10:48am - work - by StevieMe (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I took a massive dump at work and clogged the industrial toilet. Since I used the unisex one at the end of the hall, I watched my super hot coworker walk in after me. And then she ran out immediately. Everyone had seen me walk out before her. FML

#79663
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16050) - you deserved it (31803)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:44pm - work - by wow (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents found my stash of alcohol. They drank it all within a single evening. FML

#16921671
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16047) - you deserved it (30733)

On 06/30/2011 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my remote control airplane arrived in the mail. I was super excited, so naturally I took it outside for its first flight. It now resides at the top of the tallest tree in sight. FML

#19691292
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16048) - you deserved it (7825)

On 05/27/2012 at 11:33pm - misc - by buckley456 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I realized the extent of my crush on one of my employees. I found myself cropping our picture out of the staff photo to see what we would look like as a couple. FML

#3787096
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16044) - you deserved it (36916)

On 07/15/2009 at 10:08pm - work - by beingthebossisoverrated (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to find a date for this banquet we did in my town every year. I paid my neighbor 40 bucks an hour to be my date. It was a 4 hour event. Best part: she got drunk and told the whole town I was paying her. FML

#2720571
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16035) - you deserved it (54214)

On 06/08/2009 at 2:44pm - love - by twowords (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I locked the door to our only bathroom so my two year old wouldn't get in and make a mess. I crapped my pants while trying to unlock it with the key that rests on the frame. FML

#15447949
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16036) - you deserved it (31595)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by Cuzles (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 8 year old son cut his own hair. He did a better job than I ever did. I'm a hairdresser. FML

#17279085
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16033) - you deserved it (30028)

On 07/27/2011 at 12:35pm - kids - by buiuuum - United States (Michigan)

Today, after much thought and serious consideration, I nervously admitted to my boyfriend that I'm bisexual. The first thing that he said in response was: "Want a threesome?" FML

#13495592
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16031) - you deserved it (36096)

On 10/18/2010 at 4:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling on the couch. He held a Kool Fruit in his teeth, and motioned for me to kiss him, so he could put it in my mouth. Just as he was about to do this, I inhaled. He then had to watch me dry retching, trying to get it back up. FML

#19225607
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16031) - you deserved it (5915)

On 03/06/2012 at 2:20am - misc - by BlueBirdWings (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a big presentation to do at work, so I got up early and ran myself a bath. I woke up three hours later, extremely late, and still in the bath. FML

#18377899
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16023) - you deserved it (20514)

On 11/28/2011 at 6:43pm - work - by fuuuuck (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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