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Today, my fiancé picked which new house he thinks we should live in based on the fact that the bathroom was set up in such a way that he can drink himself in to a stupor, then use the toilet and puke in the sink at the same time. FML

#8891983
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (5241)

On 03/07/2010 at 12:25pm - love - by ohshit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was at a Buddhist shrine and wanted to light a candle for my friend who's having a rough time, when I got stung by a bee. I spent the next hour with a swollen shoulder. How does karma work again? FML

#19032712
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21273) - you deserved it (3884)

On 02/09/2012 at 6:05am - health - by thairsha (woman) - Japan

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML

#20054655
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21270) - you deserved it (2294)

On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia

Today, the alarm clock downstairs has been going off since 3am. The apartment belongs to two other students. They've gone home. Only 3 more days left to go. FML

#14449121
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21270) - you deserved it (1899)

On 01/03/2011 at 5:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, the only card I got for Valentine's Day was in my mother's handwriting, and she posted it through the front door herself. She still won't admit it's from her. FML

#19072071
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21269) - you deserved it (2397)

On 02/14/2012 at 6:56am - love - by ThanksMum (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, while kissing my girlfriend's neck, I sneezed a blob of snot onto her. She told me that "it doesn't matter", while hiccuping a bit of vomit. FML

#626
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (5930)

On 12/29/2008 at 11:54pm - love - by sneezer - Sent from mobile version

Today, my swimming coach made us swim fifty laps non-stop as punishment for his previous class being unable to swim a drill properly. They're 8-11 year olds who are still learning to swim. I feel like my arms and legs are filled with lead. FML

#20041381
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21268) - you deserved it (1914)

On 08/25/2012 at 5:59pm - health - by blue (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend told me that he was going to pee on me to "mark his territory." When I told him that it was disgusting, he said, "last time, I just peed on you in the shower." FML

#8180539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21266) - you deserved it (3229)

On 02/12/2010 at 8:34pm - intimacy - by rashree (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I saw my crush working the only open till at the grocery store. When she saw me approach her queue, she immediately called for more cashiers. FML

#19823688
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21266) - you deserved it (3028)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:40am - love - by rink.attendant.6 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate pressed "snooze" on his alarm 14 times. I counted. FML

#20200321
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21263) - you deserved it (2189)

On 12/11/2012 at 10:57am - misc - by roommateprobssss:( - United States

Today, I got my laptop back after waiting weeks for it to be fixed. It turns out that they didn't fix it; they dusted it off, held it for a few days, and sent it back. FML

#19985315
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21261) - you deserved it (1620)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I was getting it on with my boyfriend in my dorm room. My roommate came in, despite the signal I had up on the door. She didn't leave. She got on her computer and started playing Solitaire. FML

#5050419
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21261) - you deserved it (4768)

On 09/04/2009 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I snooped around my parents' room looking for hidden Christmas presents. The only hidden things I found was a whip, two ball gags, several other sex toys, and a load of newspaper clippings about the JFK assassination. What the fuck? FML

#21312961
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21258) - you deserved it (34065)

On 12/07/2014 at 3:10am - misc - by .__. (woman) - United Kingdom (Brent)



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