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Today, I was at a party, when the cops busted us. Since I'm underage, I hid behind a chair for an hour and a half while they breathalyzed everyone and sat them in the same room I was in. The cops left, everyone realized I was behind the chair, and now my nickname is "Anne Frank". FML

#19455929
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14483) - you deserved it (34380)

On 04/12/2012 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

#17113139
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14478) - you deserved it (63430)

On 07/14/2011 at 9:51pm - kids - by anon (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent fifteen minutes looking for my phone in my car before I realized I was using it as a flashlight. FML

#16579288
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14477) - you deserved it (55604)

On 06/09/2011 at 2:30pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I learned that when your gas nozzle does not automatically stop by itself the way its supposed to, they will continue to charge your credit card as the gas overflows out of your tank until someone notices and yells "turn the gas off". FML

#3995707
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14471) - you deserved it (46535)

On 07/24/2009 at 1:01am - misc - by haytia22 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my daughter had a meltdown when I told her I donated some of her old toys to Goodwill. It turns out Toy Story has taught her that toys have feelings and that she has a meaningful relationship with them. She's in her teens. FML

#20167023
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14466) - you deserved it (22885)

On 11/17/2012 at 5:31pm - kids - by susan (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent my entire paycheck on a new summer wardrobe. I then left my shopping bags on the train. FML

#19925066
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14459) - you deserved it (32758)

On 07/11/2012 at 8:02pm - money - by Ashley - United States (New York)

Today, I noticed that I've gained so much weight that even my feet have stretch marks. FML

#11824802
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14450) - you deserved it (45255)

On 07/12/2010 at 3:52am - health - by fat - United States

Today, I was giving a lecture to my class I heard a phone go off. Aggravated and exhausted, I asked everyone to turn their phones off. Then the phone rang again. I lost my shit and spent the next half hour calling my students a bunch of "technology whores". Then I realized the phone was mine. FML

#681021
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14444) - you deserved it (179912)

On 03/29/2009 at 2:41pm - misc - by emkaycutie (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML

#14545291
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14442) - you deserved it (30814)

On 01/11/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking care of a friend's hamster. Thinking the hamster wanted to make a bed, I put some cotton balls in his cage so he would be comfy. He promptly ate them and died. FML

#12781273
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14422) - you deserved it (36316)

On 08/28/2010 at 12:56am - animals - by Kelli (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after suggesting to my daughter for a while that she should try out for a cheerleading team to become more confident, she went to tryouts. She didn't make the team and she's spent the last six hours in her room crying. FML

#11541731
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14422) - you deserved it (40406)

On 06/29/2010 at 1:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was using Veet instead of shaving, so that the razor wouldn't cut up my legs. I cut myself with the plastic utensil that you're supposed to use to remove the Veet. FML

#10683891
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14417) - you deserved it (21470)

On 05/22/2010 at 3:03am - health - by knickedleg - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to a job interview. The person giving me my interview was late, and while waiting for them I fell asleep. When they arrived, they didn't even bother interviewing me because they thought I was irresponsible since I fell asleep because they were late. FML

#12552420
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14417) - you deserved it (44108)

On 08/16/2010 at 1:17am - work - by nocanhaz - United States (New York)



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