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Today, I put signs up in the lifts at work with my name and desk phone number as the contact in case the lifts break down. I work in IT so there are hundreds of men in the building. Someone has already drawn a very wonky heart next to my name. FML

#15349045
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18826) - you deserved it (4835)

On 03/17/2011 at 6:00am - work - by Peppermint (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, wanting to change from the usual pizza/coca cola menu, I decide to cook. After spending 1h30 making a "beef chili with ancho, mole, and cumin" I sprinkle a bit of salt on top of it. The top came off the salt. I think it's back to pizzas for me. FML

#1229
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18825) - you deserved it (3105)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:00am - health - by j0j0 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

#813
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18823) - you deserved it (2569)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

#21310722
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18823) - you deserved it (38278)

On 12/03/2014 at 12:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching 'Tool Academy' with my girlfriend. When asked which Tool I would be, I replied with Power Tool. She then stated I would be 'Tiny Tool'. I'm 240 pounds. I don't know if she was calling me fat, or saying I have a small penis. My best guess would be both. FML

#2732
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18819) - you deserved it (3938)

On 01/26/2009 at 7:21pm - love - by soundbox - United States (Florida)

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

#20040720
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18813) - you deserved it (5932)

On 08/25/2012 at 9:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to withdraw 200 dollars. At the ATM, I noticed a suspicious man standing really close to me. I was nervous about entering my pin number, and worrying he was looking at my account information. In my panic, I got all the way home before realizing that I left the cash in the machine. FML

#518934
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18812) - you deserved it (77194)

On 03/21/2009 at 9:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got a perfect score on my French quiz, and I was told to have my mom sign it. What I didn't realize was that all the way at the bottom she wrote "Good Nathaly!" and "I love you!" surrounded by little hearts. The teacher hung it up anyway. FML

#13286743
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18812) - you deserved it (4115)

On 10/02/2010 at 7:48am - misc - by lmaoLOSER - United States (New York)

Today, it was laundry day. After my fifth and final load, I noticed I never added any laundry detergent. FML

#18239107
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (21042)

On 11/13/2011 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18810) - you deserved it (2053)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML

#19877317
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (1928)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -

Today, I went to a baseball game. On the way in, I managed to trip and get stuck in the turnstile. It took five minutes of flailing and twisting around in front of hundreds of people before I managed to pull myself out. FML

#17646290
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (4000)

On 09/02/2011 at 6:20pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18798) - you deserved it (3400)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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