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Today, I went on a blind date. As soon as my date saw me walking towards him, he checked his watch and said, "Oops, wrong place." Then walked right past me. FML

#20442057
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21918) - you deserved it (2206)

On 01/04/2013 at 1:12am - love - by Tiffosaur - United States

Today, while at the mall I opened a bathroom stall thinking nobody was in there. The door just didn't close properly. I hit an elderly woman in the head. FML

#15464639
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (9443)

On 03/24/2011 at 10:46am - misc - by FckMyLife (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I accidentally ran a stop sign. It wouldn't have been so bad if the stop sign hadn't been in a traffic cop's hands. FML

#20836993
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21917) - you deserved it (43933)

On 08/14/2013 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a man came up to me at the bus stop. He went into this long story about how his girlfriend is pregnant and they both haven't eaten in days. Trying to be tough and funny I said back, "sounds like you should invest in condoms instead of food." He responded by beating and robbing me. FML

Today, it was the first day of astronomy class and we all waited for the professor to enter the classroom. All of a sudden, someone turns the lights off, it's pitch black, and we hear the professor saying, "Greetings earthlings..." It's going to be a long semester. FML

#13070220
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21913) - you deserved it (17934)

On 09/16/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my 26th birthday party got busted by my parents due to them coming home early because of a flight cancellation. Everyone had to leave, but not before my mother made me go to my room. FML

#5055356
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21912) - you deserved it (44255)

On 09/05/2009 at 3:07am - misc - by joeshmoe (man) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

#1104
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21911) - you deserved it (1945)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:26am - love - by beekie9 - United States (Illinois)

Today, was the first day of my new job. My boss admitted that they hadn't cleaned the employee bathroom for over two months. My first task: clean the employee bathroom. FML

#19343109
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21910) - you deserved it (1758)

On 03/25/2012 at 3:12am - misc - by LesToiliettes - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had a phone interview with my potential new boss. I was getting excited about the prospects of landing a great job. I had nailed every question the man asked me and right after he told me he'll call me tomorrow if he wants me to come in I sweetly said, "Talk to you tomorrow, Love you" FML

#1723493
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21906) - you deserved it (53713)

On 05/07/2009 at 5:10pm - work - by jobless (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

#20103865
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21906) - you deserved it (1527)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I thought it would be nice to park my new car under a big, shady oak tree to prevent it from heating up in the sun. The big, shady oak tree thought it would be nice to shed a massive branch on top of my new car. FML

#20196008
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (3602)

On 12/08/2012 at 4:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my car was towed for the second time in front of my own house. They tried to tell me it was because they didn't think I lived there anymore. The person who had it towed had just spoken to me not three hours before. FML

#20047754
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21897) - you deserved it (1348)

On 08/29/2012 at 11:01am - money - by drixxy - United States (California)

Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML

#20073442
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21893) - you deserved it (3543)

On 09/15/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by FullMonty (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)



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