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Today, I was at a party when I got covered in the liquid from a glow stick. Thinking it wasn't a big deal I went to rub it off, but it stuck to my clothes. The cops came so everyone ran and hid in the bushes because we were all drunk. The cops arrested fifteen people because I glowed. FML

#5063911
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14578) - you deserved it (41615)

On 09/05/2009 at 4:54pm - misc - by Idiots (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I decided to clear up some storm damage. I carefully cut a tree that was threatening to fall on my house. It fell on my neighbor's house instead. He's taking me to court for damages. FML

#12365331
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14579) - you deserved it (31870)

On 08/07/2010 at 2:04am - misc - by Zinfandel (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told the man I'm sleeping with I thought my sister was prettier than me. His response: "not significantly." FML

#17490
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14575) - you deserved it (25680)

On 02/09/2009 at 1:24pm - misc - by xyz (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

#6660964
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14561) - you deserved it (41933)

On 12/08/2009 at 3:19am - misc - by cookscatastrophy - United States (California)

Today, after sex with my girlfriend, I thought it would be sexy to wear her underwear until we saw each other again. I found a pair in her bathroom, but they definitely weren't her sexy ones. Her mom walked in on me to collect the laundry and screeched "What are you doing with my panties!" FML

#483227
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14559) - you deserved it (94149)

On 03/20/2009 at 1:37am - intimacy - by HughGorgy (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother came into my room and had a thirty minute long conversation with me. She kept looking very nervous and uncomfortable. Only after she left did I realize that a porn site was open on my computer screen. The entire time. FML

#18048411
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14558) - you deserved it (45711)

On 10/22/2011 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

#18129545
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14543) - you deserved it (33886)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, while on a run off campus with my german shepherd, I tried to impress a couple of hot fraternity guys playing football outside of their house. I broke out into a full sprint. I then got tangled in my dog's leash and fell straight in to a parked jeep knocking myself unconscious. FML

#1408593
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14538) - you deserved it (52738)

On 04/27/2009 at 10:10pm - misc - by Radgirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML

#19796326
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14531) - you deserved it (20497)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:44am - misc - by sadphonegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML

#20580770
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14522) - you deserved it (36010)

On 04/08/2013 at 3:20pm - misc - by nosey (woman) - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, I was trying to listen to a phone message I'd received. I was excited because I'd been waiting for the coaches to call me back for tryouts for a week now. Trying to figure out how to listen to it, I ended up deleting it. FML

#16176311
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14520) - you deserved it (24509)

On 05/14/2011 at 7:17pm - misc - by ihatelife (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my friend sent me an instant message, telling me how excited she was that she was accepted to a FIT Summer Program. I told her I was so proud, and that she can finally lose that excess weight. She told me that she meant Fashion Institute of Technology. FML

#233851
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14518) - you deserved it (64326)

On 03/07/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I was bored. Some people would've called up friends to hang out. Not me. I had the sudden urge to make an entire Excel Spreadsheet on how much I've spent on iTunes, month-by-month. I'm not sure what's worse, that I got really into it, or that I've spent nearly $800.00 on iTunes. FML

#16554560
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14514) - you deserved it (28142)

On 06/07/2011 at 11:05pm - misc - by Mik (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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