Miscellaneous: Family values - FML

Family values

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 04:55 - United States

Today, I went back home. My drunk mother was screaming at my drunk step-dad about a fight that happened four years ago. My little sister was looking in the mirror practicing her "orgasm face", while the neighbors were dancing outside, coked out and naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 220

You deserved it 5 374

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Same thing different taste

Cotton Eye Joe

By Anonymous - 13/09/2009 09:27 - United States

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling, "Who's your daddy?" at his plate of barbecued meat, and my mom just sat there with that, "What the hell happened to my life?" look on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 325

You deserved it 4 554

Mommy dearest

By Ohkourt - 20/04/2020 05:00

Today, I woke up only to find my half-naked drunk mother in my living room, talking in her sleep about how much she hates me. She still doesn't see what's wrong with this picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 652

You deserved it 110

By driverboy - 31/12/2014 08:08 - United States

Today, I had to pick up and drive home a couple of drunk bitches. Unfortunately, one of these drunk bitches was my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 902

You deserved it 4 872

By Anonymous - 04/03/2014 04:12 - United States - Woodland

Today, my mom left the house in the morning, leaving me alone. I called and I got no answer. Hours later, she finally answers one of my calls and tells me that she'd been in an AA meeting all this time. Happy, I tell her to come home. She came home drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 153

You deserved it 3 206

Get back here!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 07:51 - Canada

Today, my very drunk mother decided to run down the block naked, screaming at the top of her lungs, "She's trying to kill me!" as I followed behind her in my car, yelling for her to get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 148

You deserved it 2 751

By mariama - 23/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 998

You deserved it 3 119

By vanorav - 18/03/2012 02:41 - United States - Santa Clarita

Today, I walked into the kitchen to eat some breakfast. I got a full visual of my drunk neighbor dancing naked in my backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 569

You deserved it 2 245

Drunken antics

By eddie818 - 10/06/2012 07:54 - Canada - Sidney

Today, I drove my drunk sister home after a wild night of partying. She did not go to bed as I expected; instead, she laid in the bathtub and cried every time I left her. Now it's 3AM, and she's using her bra as a lasso for various objects in the room. The best part is I work in 4 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 259

You deserved it 3 248

By Anonymous - 21/05/2014 16:05 - United States - New York

Today, I woke to my drunk mother trying to vacuum the lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 853

You deserved it 4 365

By Vince - 09/12/2011 19:38 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling up on the couch with my girlfriend, when my drunken mother walked in the room, slurred out, "Room for one more?" and leaped on top of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 057

You deserved it 3 228

Next

Top comments

BLARGTEHTACO 20

Saturday 20 May 2017 5:03

That sounds like a renaissance painting waiting to happen.

taintedtruffle 42

Saturday 18 March 2017 1:16

Where the **** do you live??

Comments

taintedtruffle 42

Saturday 18 March 2017 1:16

Where the **** do you live??

BLARGTEHTACO 20

Saturday 20 May 2017 5:03

That sounds like a renaissance painting waiting to happen.

alucard724 9

Saturday 19 August 2017 7:29

I find this hard to believe

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The Top

Today, I've had a crush on a guy for a while - a friend of mine knows this. I finally decided to find out once and for all if there was any chance with him, so I drove to his house, armed with a home cooked meal and wine, only to find the very friend I confided in was at his house. It turns out they are now an item. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 162

You deserved it 152

Today, I was at the hairdresser's getting a trim. The lady doing my hair commented on how beautiful and luscious my hair was, which made me feel really good. I later overheard her telling her colleague that hair as nice as mine was wasted on someone with a face like mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 027

You deserved it 3 364

The Top

Today, I told a bunch of my friends that I have a crush on this one girl. They all said it's definitely one-sided and I have no chance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 677

You deserved it 148

Today, I caught my soon to be husband screwing our wedding planner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 666

You deserved it 1 453

Today, I was on Tinder and only one girl matched with me. She gave me a "Super-Like" so I thought she must want to get to know each other and see what happens. Nope. She recognized me as the guy who adopted the stray cat she was taking care of last year, and just wanted to know how he was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 437

You deserved it 1 317

Today, while walking to my bus stop, I saw a girl slip on black ice, then catch herself, and I laughed because people catching themselves slip are hilarious. I reach the same patch of black ice and go flying, falling on my hip and spilling my coffee all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 637

You deserved it 3 630

Today, I had to make up a boyfriend to stop my lesbian roommate coming onto me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 264

You deserved it 6 640

Today, my cat decided that the best place for her to pee was over the surge protector where my modem, router, and printer are plugged in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 525

You deserved it 206