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Tuesday 18 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was telling my friends about a date I had recently that went badly, because the guy turned out to be a moron. I said the last straw was when I used the word "decipher" and was met with a blank stare. I was then met with more blank stares. FML

#21090611
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40431) - you deserved it (6701)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40421) - you deserved it (3094)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

#21091718
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40365) - you deserved it (4958)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

#21093322
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39688) - you deserved it (3644)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:56am - work - by Dr.Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

#21092926
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39683) - you deserved it (3991)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by please stop singing!!!! - United States (Florida)

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

#21093234
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39601) - you deserved it (4309)

On 03/22/2014 at 3:18am - misc - by Jen__ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39470) - you deserved it (6296)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39166) - you deserved it (4012)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML

#21094619
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38799) - you deserved it (3665)

On 03/23/2014 at 8:44pm - misc - by hannahg - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML

#21095673
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38571) - you deserved it (3540)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my nephew and we decided to color together. He drew a picture of someone who looked dead, almost zombie-like, while everyone else looked pretty normal. When I asked who it was, he said in a serious, scary voice, "It's you." FML

#21088838
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38471) - you deserved it (3964)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:51am - kids - by BondingTime - United States (Minnesota)



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