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Tuesday 18 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

my neighbor calld the police for the seventh time because he's convincd I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic clove in my yard. My parent come next week. FML

#21095586
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38217) - you deserved it (2926)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Yesterday... at mah job as a bouncer at a music venue... a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up an see if he was okay... he said... "It was an accident... please don't kick me out..." but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood acros mah face. FML

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery fir a customer!! As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attentionhore an looool slammed the door in face!! FML

Today, I had to appear in court . My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat 4 comfort . The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37751) - you deserved it (6096)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today.!! !! I was treating a patient at the hospitalhere I'm a dentist !! This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf !! After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit !! He got up.!! !! steadied himself.!! !! and spat straight in my face !! FML

#21093322
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37683) - you deserved it (3483)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:56am - work - by Dr.Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I had a text message when I woke up!! I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people!! Turns out it was from T-Mobile!! They text me more than actual people do!! FML

#21091718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37513) - you deserved it (4630)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -

Today, once again I looool was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

#21093234
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37097) - you deserved it (4074)

On 03/22/2014 at 3:18am - misc - by Jen__ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us!! He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36827) - you deserved it (3800)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

today mah dad yelld at me 4 being irresponsible while he watchd me fold his laundry. FML

#21094619
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36808) - you deserved it (3517)

On 03/23/2014 at 8:44pm - misc - by hannahg - United States (Michigan)

Today, I Was Babysitting Nepew And We Decided To Color Togeter. He Drew A Picture Of Someone Wo Looked Dead, Almost Zombie-like, Wile Everyone Else Looked Pretty Normal. Wen I Asked Wo It Was, E Said In A Serious, Scary Voice, "It's You." Mega FML

#21088838
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36622) - you deserved it (3785)

On 03/17/2014 at 5:51am - kids - by BondingTime - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I got to spend 4 ours on a bus wit a group of selfie-taking teenagers wo spent te majority of te time trying to armonize wile singing various looool songs. I'm pretty sure alf of tem were tone deaf. FML

#21092926
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36566) - you deserved it (3827)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by please stop singing!!!! - United States (Florida)

TODAY.. . I WAS WALKING AROUND MY COLLEGE CAMPUS WHEN SOMEONE ASKED ME IF I HAD GOTTEN SEPARATED FROM MY TOUR GROUP . HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAID I WAS A STUDENT THERE . THIS HAPPENS ALL THE TIME . FML

#21095673
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36302) - you deserved it (3334)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today , I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic , it sounds lyk I'm asking her if she's autistic. looool big fat FML



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