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Tuesday 18 March 2014

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38462) - you deserved it (5708)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was treating a patient at the hospital where I'm a dentist. This particular gentleman was old and slightly deaf. After completing the procedure I gestured to the spitoon and asked him to spit. He got up, steadied himself, and spat straight in my face. FML

#21093322
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38347) - you deserved it (3537)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:56am - work - by Dr.Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I got to spend 4 hours on a bus with a group of selfie-taking teenagers who spent the majority of the time trying to harmonize while singing various songs. I'm pretty sure half of them were tone deaf. FML

#21092926
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38329) - you deserved it (3867)

On 03/21/2014 at 7:59pm - misc - by please stop singing!!!! - United States (Florida)

Today, my neighbor called the police for the seventh time because he's convinced I'm a vampire. He's also gotten in the habit of leaving garlic cloves in my yard. My parents come next week. FML

#21095586
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38287) - you deserved it (2927)

On 03/24/2014 at 9:52pm - misc - by Vampprobs - United States (Michigan)

Today, at my job as a bouncer at a music venue, a guy got his nose broken in a rowdy mosh pit. When I went to help him up and see if he was okay, he said, "It was an accident, please don't kick me out," but the word "please" came out as a hot spray of his blood across my face. FML

Today, I had to appear in court. My boyfriend gave me a chocolate to eat for comfort. The quote on the wrapper read "Today, you are exactly where you should be." FML

#21089044
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38248) - you deserved it (6163)

On 03/17/2014 at 2:18pm - misc - by NotInTheRightPlace (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I learned the hard way that when I ask a cute girl if she's artistic, it sounds like I'm asking her if she's autistic. FML

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are; but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

#21089766
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37697) - you deserved it (3894)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:36am - misc - by can't sleep - United States (Indiana)

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

#21091718
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37564) - you deserved it (4636)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -

Today, my dad yelled at me for being irresponsible while he watched me fold his laundry. FML

#21094619
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37326) - you deserved it (3550)

On 03/23/2014 at 8:44pm - misc - by hannahg - United States (Michigan)

Today, once again I was told I looked a bit like Lindsay Lohan. I can't figure out if they mean the young, good looking one, or the current cracked out rehab version. FML

#21093234
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37192) - you deserved it (4077)

On 03/22/2014 at 3:18am - misc - by Jen__ - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had an elaborate fantasy of what I would do if I became a cat and how I would make my way to my crush's house to be their cat. FML

Today, the feedback my teacher wrote on my English assignment was so horrible that it took me half an hour and help from both my parents to decipher it. It turned out to be a scathing criticism of my "poor communication skills". I hate my teachers. FML

#21096093
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (3581)

On 03/25/2014 at 2:42pm - misc - by fluent in two, unlike you (man) - Mexico



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