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Monday 7 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40262) - you deserved it (4479)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40183) - you deserved it (4767)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40024) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39971) - you deserved it (4510)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39948) - you deserved it (4962)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

#20918462
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39947) - you deserved it (4079)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by Water Daughter - United States

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

#20918430
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39832) - you deserved it (23682)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39442) - you deserved it (9663)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

#20912330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39355) - you deserved it (6255)

On 10/08/2013 at 10:34am - money - by moneymoneymoney (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38877) - you deserved it (3291)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, it's the fifth day in a row my workmate has worn the exact same clothing. We share the desk. I'm absolutely positive he hasn't hit the shower since last weekend. FML

#20916348
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38858) - you deserved it (2828)

On 10/11/2013 at 11:40am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

#20915931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38745) - you deserved it (4357)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38628) - you deserved it (3138)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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