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Monday 7 October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, being so desperate for money, I accepted a job in which I get shot at with paintballs for 6 hours. FML

#20911674
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40102) - you deserved it (4763)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:08pm - work - by BOHICA123 (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had horrible morning sickness, but being starving, I had some canned soup. My husband soon came into the room and commented on how the leeks in the soup looked like chunks of vomit. The visual caused me to vomit all over the table. FML

#20916778
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39958) - you deserved it (2983)

On 10/11/2013 at 6:44pm - health - by jnisla (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39897) - you deserved it (4506)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my friend to crop me out of her profile picture on Facebook because I look terrible in it. She responded that she wasn't going to, because it made her look better. FML

#20913413
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39870) - you deserved it (4950)

On 10/09/2013 at 1:21am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

#20918430
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39745) - you deserved it (23645)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States

Today, I jokingly told my friend that I was the kid who stole his brand new glow-in-the-dark markers back in kindergarten. Now he's ignoring my texts and calls and says we're through. So much for our twelve years of friendship. FML

#20918380
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39371) - you deserved it (9657)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:33am - misc - by markerThief (man) - United States (California)

Today, I figured out my 1-year-old daughter likes to dip her hand in our dogs' water bowl, and rub the water on her face. So I put the water bowl out of reach. She then figured out how to open the bathroom door and use the toilet instead. FML

#20918462
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39354) - you deserved it (4011)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:51am - misc - by Water Daughter - United States

Today, my financial troubles got so bad, I contemplated visiting a friend simply so I could swipe their deodorant. FML

#20912330
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39267) - you deserved it (6245)

On 10/08/2013 at 10:34am - money - by moneymoneymoney (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I finally decided to stand up for myself and quit my crappy job working for my abusive father. I gave him a few insults too, to which he reacted by calling the police and claiming I'd threatened to murder him. I spent three hours in jail before they finally let me go. FML

#20916390
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39235) - you deserved it (3403)

On 10/11/2013 at 12:43pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38804) - you deserved it (3287)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

#20915931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38673) - you deserved it (4351)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38556) - you deserved it (3127)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, someone stole my umbrella. It was pouring heavily, and I was using it at the time. FML

#20914908
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38304) - you deserved it (2912)

On 10/10/2013 at 7:27am - misc - by happyturtle (woman) - Croatia



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