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Wednesday 27 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my sister gave my laptop away and dumped a pile of her hamster's turds on my bed. All of this because I flushed the toilet while she was in the shower last night. FML

#20573279
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39705) - you deserved it (6097)

On 04/03/2013 at 2:45pm - misc - by poop (man) -

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39664) - you deserved it (2993)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got served paperwork stating that my ex-fiancée is suing me again for child support. About 7 years ago, I proved via DNA testing within the court system that I was not the father the first time. I see a talk show in my future. FML

#20570526
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39472) - you deserved it (2575)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:18pm - money - by haku4u (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39318) - you deserved it (2631)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

#20569420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39272) - you deserved it (4348)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39265) - you deserved it (2602)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39237) - you deserved it (7131)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, my husband told me to look for a honeymoon resort, since we had to cancel it last year. I looked everything up and got all excited. Just when I asked him for payment information, he said "April Fools!" April Fools was two days ago. FML

#20573157
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38609) - you deserved it (3238)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:50pm - love - by letdown13 - United States (New York)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38553) - you deserved it (2685)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, my boyfriend, who moved in about a month ago, decided he wanted to move back out. Why? Because I don't keep my place clean enough for him. This, coming from the same man who refuses to wash or clean anything because "that's what women are for." FML

#20560431
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38249) - you deserved it (9661)

On 03/26/2013 at 12:15am - love - by ShouldBeSingleSoon (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38228) - you deserved it (3327)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, my boyfriend came over with a hickey on his neck. He thinks "The vacuum did it" is a believable excuse. FML

#20569989
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38226) - you deserved it (3910)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:17pm - love - by tkrause - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38127) - you deserved it (4651)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States



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