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Wednesday 27 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36958) - you deserved it (3963)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, while working at a porn store, a group of six people tried to return used toys and penis pumps. Even though you can't return any items, it's still an unfortunately common occurrence. The semen in these particular toys, however, is not. All of them began shouting at me for not refunding them. FML

#20569678
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36397) - you deserved it (4966)

On 04/01/2013 at 7:57am - intimacy - by ohgodwhyyoufreaks (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36131) - you deserved it (21321)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36095) - you deserved it (3145)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

#20566826
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36015) - you deserved it (3562)

On 03/30/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by My Life Is Just PERFECT - United States

Today, my Jewish boyfriend came over for my extended family's Easter party. My grandmother made fun of him for being Jewish so badly, that he left, crying. She doesn't see what she did wrong. FML

#20569420
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35949) - you deserved it (4009)

On 04/01/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by aabadaba (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35868) - you deserved it (2356)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

#20565796
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (8142)

On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I came home from a relaxing, peaceful vacation. When I got home my 4-year-old son was free-balling with poop all over his body, screaming "Bob the Builder will kick your ass." The baby sitter is nowhere to be found and I can't get him to stop saying, "I love ass." FML

#20562056
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35599) - you deserved it (3759)

On 03/27/2013 at 4:00am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend tried to whimsically serenade me by throwing rocks at my apartment window and singing. He got the wrong window. Another guy answered, and now he thinks I'm cheating on him. FML

#20559286
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35182) - you deserved it (2783)

On 03/25/2013 at 10:48am - love - by Faaccckkk (woman) - United States

Today, the girl I thought I was dating got into a fight with me over the phone. She did this because she bet her boyfriend that she could make me cry on FaceTime. She won the bet. FML

#20567223
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34890) - you deserved it (5164)

On 03/30/2013 at 6:22pm - love - by J. Homen - United States

Today, I announced to my family that I got accepted into Harvard. My grandma laughed and muttered, "Liar." FML

#20567796
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34743) - you deserved it (2603)

On 03/31/2013 at 1:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a blonde tourist came up to me and asked me for directions to the nearest train station. I politely directed her there, and she left. Five minutes later, she came back and slapped me for not bringing her to an "English-speaking station". We're in China, lady. FML

#20567861
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34669) - you deserved it (2283)

On 03/31/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by dumb tourists (man) - China (Beijing)



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