Kids: Hellooooo, Social Services?

Hellooooo, Social Services?

By whatisthisshit - 17/03/2017 00:00

Today, I spent two hours convincing my 3-year-old son that he can't poop on his 4-month-old brother out of retaliation for the baby pooping on him. He did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 459

You deserved it 712

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Same thing different taste

By TiredMommy - 20/04/2017 18:00 - United States - Southbridge

Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 563

You deserved it 515

Learning curve

By Anonymous - 16/08/2017 16:00

Today, my 3-year-old son put into practice the lesson I taught him yesterday, about how to use a larger piece of Play-Doh to pick up smaller bits. Unfortunately, he used this method to pick up a small bit of poo from his pants with a larger bit of poo direct from the toilet. I was an hour late for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 063

You deserved it 490

By Anonymous - 29/11/2009 21:10 - United States

Today, a funny smelling liquid was sprayed all over the computer. Last week, I told my fully pottytrained but extremely reluctant toddler that he couldn't play Barney games until he used the big boy toilet. A 4 year old's revenge really sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 892

You deserved it 5 593

By kewtness_17 - 01/10/2011 23:10 - United States

Today, I got mad at my 4 year old son for cussing me out. Afterwards, I went upstairs to get ready for the day. When I came back downstairs I found him pooping on my brand new leather couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 549

You deserved it 12 170

Doggone It

By "smonds13" - 09/08/2017 00:29

Today, my 3-year-old pooped on the floor and blamed it on the dog. How do I know? We don't have a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 708

You deserved it 445

By Anonymous - 01/06/2010 16:43 - United States

Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 953

You deserved it 4 501

Good boy

By anonymous - 16/03/2011 02:05

Today, I got a call from my five-year-old son's principal. My son had pooped in the schoolyard, then gave the teacher a Ziploc bag, and commanded her to pick it up. He said he was trying to imitate our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 175

You deserved it 6 141

Learning curve

By diapersplease - 07/06/2015 01:17 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year-old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 734

You deserved it 2 770

Potty drama

By NeverEndingBathtime_ - 03/08/2017 20:00

Today, my two year-old is being potty trained. He got the gist of it and actually did #1 and #2 in the potty and after our little celebratory dance, I went to get him a cookie (which took me two seconds). I come back to see him covered in shit and pee because he tried to go empty the potty himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 735

You deserved it 1 085

By Anonymous - 17/02/2013 02:12 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, after explaining to my four-year-old why our new puppy was peeing on things to mark his territory, my son decided to follow suit and pee all over our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 863

You deserved it 6 873

xaru 21

Friday 17 March 2017 0:39

Shit on them both to show dominance

coolmike699 26

Friday 17 March 2017 0:12

You gotta get this under control before this game of battleshits escalates into a poopstorm of epic magniturd.

Comments

coolmike699 26

Friday 17 March 2017 0:12

You gotta get this under control before this game of battleshits escalates into a poopstorm of epic magniturd.

RichardPencil 30

Friday 17 March 2017 0:16

Sounds like you've got quite a situation on your hands. If only I could come up with a clever adjective to describe your situation!

xaru 21

Friday 17 March 2017 0:39

Shit on them both to show dominance

Tripartita 44

Friday 17 March 2017 1:06

How does the expression go? "A poop for a poop makes the world brown."

maharb01 17

Friday 17 March 2017 1:33

that's like something out of an episode of shameless, haha awesome

pjsr 32

Friday 17 March 2017 2:21

You don't argue with a 3 year old for two hours. You say, 'No, you cannot poop on the baby. If you do, this is what will happen to you...' Conversation over.

kirkaygri 18

Friday 17 March 2017 3:15

And then the 3 year old does it anyways because they're 3 and telling them no and explaining consequences just does not work when they have their mind set on something. While I agree you shouldn't argue with a child, let's face it, this was inevitable. I work with kids this age, some just do not care about consequences.

Talis99 26

Friday 17 March 2017 5:09

Yeah, modern parenting is all about talking to children who have no concept of adult understanding as if they had the concept of adult understanding. They're your kids. They do what you say or they get punished. There is no discussion or explaining to people who haven't developed the capacity for either. Try that when they're older.

Demon_of_Light 27

Friday 17 March 2017 11:52

Ironically enough, kids will develop an understanding of such matters more quickly when you actually explain things to them.

Lobby_Bee 17

Friday 17 March 2017 6:02

Whichever side wins, you lose.

itssnotfunny 24

Friday 17 March 2017 7:04

Probably because he doesn't know what retaliation means, he's only 3. *joke*

StarkWolf_fml 23

Friday 17 March 2017 15:00

so it begins. ..

Cali 54

Friday 17 March 2017 17:14

Flash forward 80 years and see one of them hobbling away from the other's doorstep after igniting a paper bag full of dog shit and ringing the doorbell.