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Saturday 23 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was freshening up my makeup in the car before a date. An old lady walked by and said through my open window, "Don't bother. There's no helping you, honey." FML

#20559530
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36959) - you deserved it (3963)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:36pm - love - by f-ugly - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

#20553362
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36820) - you deserved it (15912)

On 03/21/2013 at 6:01am - intimacy - by meeee (woman) - United States

Today, I went out to a restaurant to meet a girl that I met online. When I arrived I texted her and she said she was wearing a blue shirt. The only person that was wearing anything blue was a fat man smiling in the corner. FML

#20552465
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36558) - you deserved it (9717)

On 03/20/2013 at 5:16pm - misc - by bobthenun - United States (California)

Today, I walked into an exam after having stayed up 20 straight hours studying. The professor looked at me and muttered, "Don't bother, I'm failing you either way." FML

#20552400
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36555) - you deserved it (3535)

On 03/20/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Tired (man) - United States

Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML

#20549421
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36278) - you deserved it (2950)

On 03/18/2013 at 3:38pm - love - by Maggie - United States

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

#20563419
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36132) - you deserved it (21321)

On 03/28/2013 at 3:53am - intimacy - by couch_potato (man) -

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36095) - you deserved it (3145)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up for me. It was going pretty good, then he said he was going to go out to smoke. 10 minutes went by and he still hadn't come back. I called my friend and she said he doesn't smoke. FML

#20566826
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36016) - you deserved it (3562)

On 03/30/2013 at 11:29am - misc - by My Life Is Just PERFECT - United States

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35870) - you deserved it (2356)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

#20555435
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35865) - you deserved it (17402)

On 03/22/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

#20565796
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35736) - you deserved it (8143)

On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I found out that my picture from a dating profile was so "hilarious" that people have been posting it on Instagram with mean captions. FML

#20557606
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35724) - you deserved it (5304)

On 03/24/2013 at 4:59am - misc - by And I'm still single - United States (California)

Today, I bought an expensive razor that's supposed to be great. My roommate asked if she could borrow it, and as her legs just looked like they needed touching up, I said sure. After a strangely long amount of time, she came back, thanked me and left. Her legs were still hairy. FML

#20557395
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35601) - you deserved it (11543)

On 03/24/2013 at 1:30am - misc - by bleach (woman) - United Kingdom



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