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Saturday 23 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML

#20564455
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39810) - you deserved it (16990)

On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it was my first time with my boyfriend, at his house, in his Dora the Explorer sheets. FML

#20550446
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39681) - you deserved it (8550) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/18/2013 at 6:34pm - love - by inconnue - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my friend asked to borrow my new laptop to email his college professor. When he returned it, it had a virus on it, and I had to fish out two pubic hairs that were sticking out between the keys. FML

#20559514
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39156) - you deserved it (7125)

On 03/25/2013 at 2:25pm - misc - by grossed out - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

#20557644
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39140) - you deserved it (6524)

On 03/24/2013 at 6:20am - misc - by theawesome129 - Canada

Today, the kids I babysit hid from me. While I was looking for them, I stepped on multiple strategically-placed Lego bricks. When I yelped from the pain, the kids jumped out and threw soccer balls in my face. FML

#20556944
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39113) - you deserved it (4860)

On 03/23/2013 at 7:47pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at a romantic dinner my boyfriend was treating me to, the waiter brought a "Will you marry me?" cake out with candles and sparklers. I probably should have checked that they'd brought it to the right table before dramatically screaming "Yes!" and jumping into my boyfriend's arms. They hadn't. FML

#20559787
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (6692)

On 03/25/2013 at 5:45pm - love - by franky (woman) - Germany (Niedersachsen)

Today, as I was walking with my boyfriend, holding hands, a woman began screaming at us about how we "f*ggots" are "ruining America." I'm a girl. FML

#20551759
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38667) - you deserved it (4204)

On 03/20/2013 at 12:54am - love - by Too manly (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking by the side of the interstate because my car broke down. A nice young man stopped and asked if I was tired of walking. I said yes, to which he replied, "Try jogging asshole" then laughed and drove off. It was raining balls. FML

#20553491
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38603) - you deserved it (3472)

On 03/21/2013 at 9:31am - misc - by WetWalking - United States (Texas)

Today, I turned 18. My parents got me a pineapple and a pair of socks. I'm allergic to pineapple, and the socks are too small. FML

#20566329
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38467) - you deserved it (2681)

On 03/30/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by ShellShocked - United States

Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my boyfriend because they don't want people having sex in our apartment during college exams. My boyfriend agreed. FML

#20558428
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38412) - you deserved it (5102)

On 03/24/2013 at 7:21pm - intimacy - by Tooloud (woman) - Canada

Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML

#20565033
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38326) - you deserved it (2564)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States

Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML

#20565029
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38153) - you deserved it (3326)

On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -

Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML

#20561180
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38074) - you deserved it (4640)

On 03/26/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by holycommander - United States



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