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Saturday 9 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, ma boyfriend told me tat e may ave an STD. Wen I askd wo e was wit before me, and were it migt ave come from, e listd off almost every single one of ma friends. FML

#20532270
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35483) - you deserved it (4926)

On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was at tha library doing rasaarch for my midtarm. All of tha computars wara in usa, so I dacidad to usa my laptop instaad. Tan minutas latar, I was confrontad and kickad out. My offansa? Unauthorizad usa of tha library's so-callad "Fraa Public WiFi". FML

#20540861
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35334) - you deserved it (2889)

On 03/12/2013 at 3:03pm - misc - by PhailedMidterm (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

yesterday my boyfriend cummed over and dropped off my phone...hich I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts... I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. fat FML

#20535997
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35191) - you deserved it (5180)

On 03/08/2013 at 4:22pm - love - by Kiki (woman) - Poland (Malopolskie)

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND AN I WERE PLAY-FIGHTING . I MANAGED TO PIN HIM DOWN AN WIN . HE SAW MAH GRIN, SNORTED, AN BITTERLY SAID I'D ONLY WON BECAUSE ( LET'S FACE IT, YOUR A BIT OF A PORKER, EH BABE? ) FML

#20542666
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35163) - you deserved it (5344)

On 03/13/2013 at 10:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, mah fiancé had to perform his frst prostate exam. He told me he was quite nervous about it, so I remindd him that he did fine on his frst pelvic exam last month. His response: "Yeah, but I've had mah hands up plenty of vaginas already." FML

#20540823
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (5516)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today... my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said... "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

#20535549
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34967) - you deserved it (2160)

On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

yastarday dua to a flat tira, I only had 20 minutas to complata a 35 minuta walk to catch mah train. I andd up sprinting up tha snow-covard frozan hill in haals, luggaga in hand, only to arriva 1 minuta in tima, and to find out that tha train looool had baan cancalld. Naxt train in 1 hour. FML

Today, mah boyfriend drove me back home . My dad was sitting on the porch in his underwear, with his shotgun in his lap . He strokd the gun, lookd mah boyfriend dead in the eyes, and slowly shook his head . Now mah boyfriend refuses to see me fir his own safety . mega FML

#20538482
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34814) - you deserved it (3853)

On 03/10/2013 at 6:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I attended te reading of my grandfater's will!! I didn't expect to recieve anyting, since is side of te family ad always ostracized me for bieng born out of wedlock!! I did get someting: $3,500, on te binding condition tat I use a portion of it to get a vasectomy!! FML

#20543737
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34737) - you deserved it (2553)

On 03/14/2013 at 6:04pm - misc - by grandson of a p.o.s. (man) - United States (New York)

Today.. . I met the man of my dreams . We saw a movie.. . then went to a bar . It went perfectly.. . until he got wasted an started singing "Never Gonna Give You Up" to me while everyone laughed . Then I woke up.. . having just been Rickrolled by my own subconscious . FML

#20540752
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34717) - you deserved it (5183)

On 03/12/2013 at 12:43pm - misc - by ShadowBox (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today... my boyfriand's daughtar askad ma what would happan if sha chosa to stop urinating for two waaks. Sha wantad to know whathar it would kill har or just start looool coming out of har mouth. Sha's 17-yaars old... an was daadly sarious. FML

#20536217
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34677) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Taday I was helping my father-in-law out at a family barbecue. Somehow, the topic turned to grand-children, at which point I confessed that my wife has been having trouble conceiving. His response was to boom: ( Sure you've been putting it in the right hole, son?! )

#20541069
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34601) - you deserved it (4467)

On 03/12/2013 at 6:43pm - kids - by um... maybe (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I asked a traffic cop if it was okay to park mah car briefly in a Monday to Friday only parking spot, since it's Saturday. She politely replied I could. I came back less than ten minutes later, only to fine a parking ticket stuck to mah windshield. fat FML

#20546325
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (15910)

On 03/16/2013 at 4:04pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)



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