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Wednesday 6 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I Saw A Woman Breastfeeding At The Natural Foods Market. It's The First Time I've Seen A Woman's Nipple In Over Two Years. I've Been Married For Ten. FML

Today, my boyfriend startd coming onto me, despite me being on my period. He said it was okay, and we went to his bedroom. He told me to spread my legs as he spread his hands. Thinking it'd be sexy, I did. He then yelld, "I AM MOSES! I PART THE RED SEA!" and broke down in laughter. FML

#20533607
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56005) - you deserved it (14673)

On 03/06/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by RedWaters - United States

Today , I invited my long-lost looool best friend over , because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend!! 20 minutes into hanging out , he showed up at my door!! He still hasn't left , and there having sex on my couch right now!! FML

#20540616
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55419) - you deserved it (7171)

On 03/12/2013 at 9:22am - intimacy - by kenleybunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend told me I was selfis 4 "coosing" to start my period on is day off from work. FML

#20531170
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52853) - you deserved it (6249)

On 03/04/2013 at 6:03pm - intimacy - by Thankshun (woman) - United States

Today, I was caught ( experimenting ) with mah friend at his house . His parents called mine, an mah dad cummed to drive me home . On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, ( Son, don't be ashamed . When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself . ) Thanks 4 the info, Dad . big fat FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49644) - you deserved it (24526)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

My Boyfriend Left Me 4 A Girl I Know . She Was The Girl My Last Boyfriend Left Me For . FML

#20536593
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49565) - you deserved it (3495)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:16am - love - by itsnotyouitsher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, when I got home, mah child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me frst". FML

#20538066
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49442) - you deserved it (6120)

On 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm - kids - by Amanda - Canada

Yesterday, our dog jumped on the bedhile my fiancé and I were having sex, and let out the most horrific fart. My fiancé, like a gentleman, held my nose closedhile he continued banging me. mega FML

Today, as always, I'm dating ona of tha faw grlsho, without fail, always finishas frsthan wa gat intimata. Sha's also ona of thosa grlfriandsho doasn't want to continua onca sha's dona.

#20542189
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47332) - you deserved it (7696)

On 03/13/2013 at 3:51pm - intimacy - by WhyDoINeedAName - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend ripped my panties trying to get them off. Not off me, off himself. big fat FML

#20530380
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46238) - you deserved it (5912)

On 03/04/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nopanties (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I found out that mah wife makes mashed potatoes by using her dirty feet to crush the potatoes because apparently this is a "healthy , natural" way to make them , an it also cleans her feet!! I've been eating her mashed potatoes at least once every week!! FML

#20531751
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45744) - you deserved it (4403)

On 03/05/2013 at 12:25am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Yesterday, mah husband was arrested 4 having sex in public. FML

#20538233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45491) - you deserved it (4450)

On 03/10/2013 at 2:50pm - love - by ifhehadadickforaheaditdbefuckingsmall (woman) - Cyprus (Nicosia)

Today , I found out that mah boyfriend and one of his friends have been having sex with each other. His excuse? "She's mah best friend , we do this all the time." I have been dating him fir over a year. FML

#20532334
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43963) - you deserved it (3668)

On 03/05/2013 at 3:17pm - love - by Alexandra - United States (Maryland)



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