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Wednesday 6 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML

#20536585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29828) - you deserved it (3242)

On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29752) - you deserved it (4081)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML

#20533456
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29694) - you deserved it (1726)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by evilsandwich (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML

#20533458
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (3653)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States

Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML

#20537852
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29107) - you deserved it (2618)

On 03/10/2013 at 5:09am - love - by Nogood - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my mom about the rough time I'm having over my recent break-up, and how I can't help thinking about my ex every single day. Her attempt to console me involved saying, "Pft. I bet he doesn't think about you every day" and walking away. Thanks. FML

#20540840
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28967) - you deserved it (5685)

On 03/12/2013 at 2:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML

#20536687
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28505) - you deserved it (3542)

On 03/09/2013 at 4:05am - work - by hairdresser (woman) - Australia

Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML

#20531557
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27970) - you deserved it (3131)

On 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm - work - by KathleenSchuler - United States

Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML

#20534043
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27686) - you deserved it (6315)

On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML

#20539367
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27174) - you deserved it (2649)

On 03/11/2013 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML

#20531281
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27148) - you deserved it (2347)

On 03/04/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by ihatemakingnames (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML

#20542127
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (6983)

On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States

Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML

#20537344
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (5016)

On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



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