Wednesday 6 March 2013 
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Today, while working my shift at Taco Bell, a creepy guy started flirting with me. He said, "You remind me of something," acting as if I knew him from elsewhere. I quickly said I used to work at Chili's. He shook his head and said, "No, not a person! An animal. A sloth maybe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24227) - you deserved it (2465)
On 03/06/2013 at 12:19pm - work - by SlothyMolly - United States
Today, I took my daughter on her first visit to the zoo. While we were watching the lemurs, some kid thought it would be funny to start shouting "MONKEY CUNTS" at them at the top of his voice. Now my daughter refuses to stop repeating the same phrase. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (1612)
On 03/12/2013 at 10:05am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, while working at Starbucks, a man came in and placed his order. I made his drink, topped it with whipped cream, and put the lid on. Some cream was seeping out of the top. He looked at me and said, "Good... you left a nipple..." and slowly licked it off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23986) - you deserved it (2147)
On 03/09/2013 at 1:06am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my girlfriend decided to get a new haircut. Now, she hates the haircut and blames me for, in her words, "turning me into something I'm not". FML
I agree, your life sucks (23746) - you deserved it (1713)
On 03/10/2013 at 5:09am - love - by Nogood - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23507) - you deserved it (2416)
On 03/09/2013 at 4:05am - work - by hairdresser (woman) - Australia
Today, I told my mom about the rough time I'm having over my recent break-up, and how I can't help thinking about my ex every single day. Her attempt to console me involved saying, "Pft. I bet he doesn't think about you every day" and walking away. Thanks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23304) - you deserved it (4033)
On 03/12/2013 at 2:40pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was so bored at a dinner party that I went to the bathroom to play games on my phone. One of my co-workers came in, so I rushed into a stall, but forgot to turn my phone's sound off. She heard it and said, "It's OK, music helps me shit too" and started blasting her music and grunting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23118) - you deserved it (5593)
On 03/06/2013 at 9:39pm - work - by shittysongs - United States (Washington)
Today, I took a week off work because my father passed away. I was at the funeral home making arrangements when I overheard the owners complaining about how their insurance agent had left them to fend for themselves. I'm their insurance agent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22888) - you deserved it (2042)
On 03/04/2013 at 10:38pm - work - by KathleenSchuler - United States
Today, my family threw me my 21st birthday party. My grandma's gift turned out to be a pack of condoms. "Not that you'll ever get to use them," she said, turning and walking off, cackling maniacally. Now I remember why I never talk to the old crone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22662) - you deserved it (3150)
On 03/08/2013 at 7:38pm - misc - by fuck you, gran (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was hanging out with my best friend. Depressed, I started telling her about my terrible week. A woman came over and asked me to not be so "whiny and negative" in front of her children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22250) - you deserved it (5177)
On 03/13/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by marisacb (woman) - United States
Today, my dad has been hitting the bottle, and will only respond to anything I say in a slurred rap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22155) - you deserved it (1771)
On 03/11/2013 at 10:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I trimmed my ear hair, my nose hair, shaved my hobbit feet, and trimmed the little sprouts that give me a unibrow if left alone. I still can't grow a beard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22008) - you deserved it (1486)
On 03/04/2013 at 7:41pm - misc - by ihatemakingnames (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I received an email from my friend in South Africa, with whom I'll soon be staying for 2 months. She was telling me that she had bought me a few things so I would be prepared for my stay. What did she buy me? A taser and some pepper-spray. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21921) - you deserved it (3671)
On 03/09/2013 at 7:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Monday 17 June 2013
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