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Saturday 2 March 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I showed my wife an article about how frequent orgasms can prevent prostate cancer, as well as increase both partners' overall health. She replied that she wouldn't judge me if I masturbated, as long as I don't use porn. FML

#20536129
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35572) - you deserved it (8579)

On 03/08/2013 at 6:36pm - intimacy - by marriage/celibacy/synonymity (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, despite the fact of being together two years, and having a daughter, my fiancée still refuses to tell her parents about us. We're getting married in six months. FML

#20527880
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (5348)

On 03/02/2013 at 8:31am - love - by OhNo - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was walking to my professor's office. I've had an upset stomach all week, and I still felt a little gassy, so I politely decided to pass gass before entering the room. More than just gas came out. FML

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

#20526564
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35445) - you deserved it (6789)

On 03/01/2013 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he may have an STD. When I asked who he was with before me, and where it might have come from, he listed off almost every single one of my friends. FML

#20532270
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35351) - you deserved it (4922)

On 03/05/2013 at 1:57pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML

#20524792
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35209) - you deserved it (3737)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:27pm - misc - by segal1010 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was told by co-workers with whom I have worked for 2 years that I tan too much and dye my hair black too often. I'm from the Middle East and have never tanned nor dyed my hair. My co-workers think I'm a wannabe. FML

#20529072
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35001) - you deserved it (2430)

On 03/03/2013 at 4:29am - misc - by wannadi (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my dad and I had an hour-long conversation. When he was getting up to leave my room he said, "Good talk Chelsey." My sister is Chelsey. So I corrected him. He thought I was joking. My father can't tell my sister and I apart. We are not twins. FML

#20535549
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34862) - you deserved it (2155)

On 03/08/2013 at 5:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34689) - you deserved it (7183)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34648) - you deserved it (3677)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend's daughter asked me what would happen if she chose to stop urinating for two weeks. She wanted to know whether it would kill her or just start coming out of her mouth. She's 17-years old, and was deadly serious. FML

#20536217
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34572) - you deserved it (2907)

On 03/08/2013 at 8:11pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half left me for another girl. Who was the only person who cared enough to comfort me? The girl he left me for. FML

#20533752
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34367) - you deserved it (2380)

On 03/06/2013 at 5:28pm - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States (Missouri)



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