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Thursday 28 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31236) - you deserved it (3457)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31119) - you deserved it (2685)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

#20527672
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31079) - you deserved it (5133)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30990) - you deserved it (3343)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

#20532315
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30977) - you deserved it (2050)

On 03/05/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by sotired - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (3257)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30709) - you deserved it (3183)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, instead of actually teaching us something, our college professor excitedly showed us the godawful Harlem Shake video he made with his friends. FML

#20533295
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30493) - you deserved it (4430)

On 03/06/2013 at 6:51am - work - by Will this stupid fad ever end? (man) - United States

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29967) - you deserved it (9860)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29954) - you deserved it (6156)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 20-year-old came whining to me, asking why his job interviews keep going so poorly. I had to delicately explain that the "PIMP SLAP" tattoo he had put on his right hand recently may have something to do with it. FML

#20533491
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29704) - you deserved it (4078)

On 03/06/2013 at 1:04pm - kids - by ProudMother (woman) - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)

Today, after house-sitting for a week, I came home to find the house in which I rent a basement suite has all but burned to the ground. My landlord didn't even bother to tell me about the fire. FML

#20533456
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29676) - you deserved it (1722)

On 03/06/2013 at 12:18pm - misc - by evilsandwich (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29619) - you deserved it (2206)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)



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