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Thursday 28 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35590) - you deserved it (3484)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong

Today, I met a guy in a bar. He was sweet and funny so I asked him out for coffee later. He quickly turned me down, saying that I didn't even meet his first requirement. His first requirement was "looks like a girl." FML

#20534087
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35565) - you deserved it (4237)

On 03/06/2013 at 10:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35554) - you deserved it (3738)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was babysitting, and I had to pee really, really badly. I couldn't figure out how to get the stupid toilet lock off, and ended up pissing myself. As I stood in the bathroom in tears, their child screamed, "No, no, pee-pee in the POTTY!" FML

#20521664
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35528) - you deserved it (8581)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:16pm - kids - by soaked (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35457) - you deserved it (3551)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, and I excitedly called my mother to tell her about our engagement. She half-heartedly said, "Aww, that's nice", before changing the topic to what she'd found in her turd earlier. FML

#20534623
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (2501)

On 03/07/2013 at 12:10pm - love - by it's shitty, yeah, stfu (man) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, after a long work shift, I was so tired that I took a nap in my car to avoid driving half-asleep. When I awoke, there was a huge truck in front of me. I thought I'd fallen asleep while driving and was about to die. I only realized it was stationary after I pissed myself. FML

#20529430
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35185) - you deserved it (5827)

On 03/03/2013 at 12:37pm - misc - by FUCKKKS (man) - United States

Today, while I was studying for an exam, my younger sister came home extremely drunk and threw up all over herself and her bed. I later got grounded for not setting a better example. FML

#20525412
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35138) - you deserved it (2480)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:02am - misc - by catdog552 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to confess my feelings to the guy I have loved for a year now in a long note. He called half an hour later and said, "I'm not going to read this crap, just tell me what it says". FML

#20535268
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35019) - you deserved it (7786)

On 03/07/2013 at 10:53pm - love - by hoolabaloo (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, my mom tried to convince my dad that I was a lesbian. Why? Because she was bored. FML

#20521518
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34911) - you deserved it (3745)

On 02/25/2013 at 11:14am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I sent a dozen roses and a hand-written, heart-felt note to my ex-girlfriend to show her that I'm still madly in love with her. When I asked if she got the flowers I sent, she replied, "Yeah but you got the wrong color. You should've gotten yellow, that stands for friendship." FML

#20534297
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34785) - you deserved it (12498)

On 03/07/2013 at 1:07am - love - by Roses are Red - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

#20527672
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (5542)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34665) - you deserved it (13272)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)



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