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Tuesday 26 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that the man I just married doesn't want to have children. We had this conversation multiple times with no problems before getting married, but now he would "rather die" than have children, because according to him, they would ruin his life. FML

#20527672
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34757) - you deserved it (5542)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:05am - love - by bummer.. (woman) - United States

Today, while working, I thought, "I wish my kittens could text so I can talk to them throughout the day." And then I realized, I'm that cat lady you read about. FML

#20532138
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34666) - you deserved it (13272)

On 03/05/2013 at 11:13am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I came home from a rough day working two jobs to find a plate of cookies on my desk with a note from my roommates saying, "You deserve it!" I happily broke one in half to eat and discovered they contained coconut. I'm allergic to coconut, a fact both of my roommates are aware of. FML

#20521168
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (3574)

On 02/25/2013 at 12:44am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, when my doctor told me I had symptoms of an STD, I had to repeatedly try to convince her I'm a 28-year-old virgin. Even as I left she still didn't believe me. FML

#20522701
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (3672)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:21am - health - by Brook (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my friends confronted me and told me that they no longer want to visit my house because my dog smells really disgusting. I didn't have the heart to tell them that the smell is actually my parents, who have been trying to "save water" by only showering once a fortnight. FML

#20525408
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34551) - you deserved it (2949)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:56am - misc - by sickofthesmelltoo (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my neighbour's puppy has developed separation anxiety. Every time my neighbour leaves for work, the puppy constantly whines and barks until he gets home. He works night shifts. FML

#20532315
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34530) - you deserved it (2296)

On 03/05/2013 at 2:58pm - animals - by sotired - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I told my mom that I heard something, and I think we have rats in the attic and should hire an exterminator. She looked at me and said, "Rats, huh? That's what the mom in The Exorcist thought, but it turned out to be the devil living up there." FML

#20528775
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34084) - you deserved it (3487)

On 03/02/2013 at 11:18pm - misc - by jkbeynon - United States (California)

Today, I found out my girlfriend can do Heath Ledger's "Joker" voice perfectly. I'm not sure if I should be scared or impressed. FML

#20529319
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33431) - you deserved it (6663)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:05am - love - by nerdgirlmickey (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was awkwardly taking a dump at work, when a coworker in another stall started talking shit to me about our boss. I grunted and agreed, hoping he'd shut up and leave me alone. That's when a third guy sarcastically chimed in with insults from a third stall. It was our boss. FML

#20529455
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33223) - you deserved it (10715)

On 03/03/2013 at 1:03pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my elderly neighbor had asked me to take her to her early morning doctor's appointment. I arrived at her house at 7:30 as agreed, and she appeared to have forgotten who I was. She started lobbing eggs out of her window at me, telling me she wasn't interested in what I was selling. FML

#20525434
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (2493)

On 02/28/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by she sure has an arm. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boss and I had to come up with a code to call if a person acts inappropriately towards me because I "attract too many weirdos." FML

#20529995
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31676) - you deserved it (3179)

On 03/03/2013 at 8:17pm - work - by smokeysarah94 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home to find that while my husband and children were mindlessly watching TV, one of our dogs got into the cupboard that stores the deep fryer. He got the lid off, ate all of the old oil and barfed everything up on the couch. FML

#20521278
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (4464)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:25am - animals - by Sammy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

#20524817
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31397) - you deserved it (3791)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)



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