Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 25 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37379) - you deserved it (3907)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37365) - you deserved it (4522)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37262) - you deserved it (4254)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my college started an internet "confessions" page. Out of curiosity I checked it out, only to find that it's full of some of the most disturbing stuff I've ever read. My schoolmates are either filthy as fuck or they are all pathological liars. Wonderful. FML

#20524030
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36993) - you deserved it (5047)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:17am - intimacy - by panicelement (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

#20521678
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36691) - you deserved it (2383)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36504) - you deserved it (8711)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I was trying to be sexy and change in front of my boyfriend. As I was changing, he started to talk to me about how we should both try and lose weight. FML

#20523139
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36370) - you deserved it (7711)

On 02/26/2013 at 3:26pm - love - by pooh anne (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36366) - you deserved it (5558)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

#20526818
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36338) - you deserved it (2649)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36242) - you deserved it (3710)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, while at the nail salon, my boyfriend called. Since I was getting my nails done, I had to put him on speaker. The whole salon heard him break up with me. I can still hear their snickering in my head. FML

#20521938
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36215) - you deserved it (7149)

On 02/25/2013 at 6:04pm - love - by HeatherRosure18 - United States (Illinois)

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

#20530703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35867) - you deserved it (7356)

On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because she could not stand the thought of being in a relationship with a man who wears orange. This is the first time I've worn an orange shirt in at least 6 months. FML

#20521313
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35671) - you deserved it (3491)

On 02/25/2013 at 3:33am - love - by vat (man) - Hong Kong



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: