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Monday 25 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I asked my boyfriend where he went to lunch. He said he went to Wendy's. I teased him and asked if he got tired of eating burgers and Frosty's all the time. His response? "What? No, I mean at Wendy's. You know, the hot girl from work?" FML

#20524344
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28961) - you deserved it (4214)

On 02/27/2013 at 12:36pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

#20524572
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28596) - you deserved it (6415)

On 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm - kids - by Ugh (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I heard from my dad for the first time in over six months. It was through Facebook, in a message blaming my brothers and me for his horrible life, and in which he spelled my name wrong. FML

#20521678
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28024) - you deserved it (1333)

On 02/25/2013 at 2:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, trying to be nice, I sat with the lonely kid at lunch. While eating, he started laughing and showed me his hit list. I was at the top. FML

#20524308
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27974) - you deserved it (4692)

On 02/27/2013 at 11:43am - misc - by dangerZone - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was at my class's band concert. Before the curtain was raised, I helped haul the piano to a different spot so a girl who would've had to stand behind it could be seen. I said, "There, now your mom can see you play!" She responded with, "My mom's blind." FML

#20527693
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27949) - you deserved it (2622)

On 03/02/2013 at 1:22am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my coach held a BBQ for the whole team. He told us to eat up, because we wouldn't be working out today. He lied. After eating the equivalent of a Thanksgiving dinner, we had to do team relays. FML

#20531130
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27913) - you deserved it (2946)

On 03/04/2013 at 5:24pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a classmate posted a recording of a recent lecture on my university's Facebook page, so we could listen again and take notes at home. A few minutes in, I heard myself asking a question. I then heard snorting and some girl muttering "dumb cunt" under her breath. FML

#20524519
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27896) - you deserved it (2695)

On 02/27/2013 at 3:52pm - misc - by DumbCuntApparently (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27739) - you deserved it (2271)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, I'm 8 months pregnant with a horribly sore back and an insensitive husband. I'm so desperate for relief that I'm lying on the couch, using my vibrator to give myself a back massage. FML

#20523063
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27679) - you deserved it (3040)

On 02/26/2013 at 2:11pm - misc - by guyssuck (woman) - Canada (Northwest Territories)

Today, while on a crowded public bus, a cute girl asked if she could sit next to me. Problem is, I didn't hear correctly and thought she asked if anyone was sitting next to me. I answered no, causing her to walk off angrily and earning me several disgusted stares from other passengers. FML

#20530703
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27495) - you deserved it (5231)

On 03/04/2013 at 9:23am - misc - by Anonymous - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27492) - you deserved it (2812)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27379) - you deserved it (5893)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up to find that my parents had replaced my regular alarm clock with a walking one that requires you to get up and find it. The alarm was set to 5:00AM, which would have been fine if it wasn't the weekend. FML

#20530545
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27346) - you deserved it (3087)

On 03/04/2013 at 3:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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Monday 20 May 2013

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