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Sunday 24 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I had to sneak out of work early to pick my 14-year-old son up from school. He and a friend had been found covered in Astroglide, racing each other down the corridor on their bellies. My boss noticed my absence from work, and now my son and I are both on suspension. FML

#20526049
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29496) - you deserved it (9181)

On 02/28/2013 at 7:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I texted my boyfriend a cute picture that I drew for him, with a little note saying "love you." He replied by sending me a picture of a nose hair he'd plucked, along with the caption, "longest one yet." FML

#20526473
68 comments

Today, my now ex-boyfriend called me out after I spelt "realised" with an S instead of a Z. It wouldn't have been so bad, if we weren't both British, if he hadn't called me an "illiterate idiot", and if he hadn't muttered "family of morons" when my mum backed me up. FML

#20519170
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28770) - you deserved it (4425)

On 02/23/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by singleandthankful (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I realized my acne is so bad that the Facebook face recognition could recognize all of my friends in a group photo except me. FML

#20516014
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28768) - you deserved it (3659)

On 02/21/2013 at 8:04am - misc - by SadFace (man) - Singapore

Today, I uploaded a new Facebook profile photo, which got over 20 likes in the space of an hour. The most I've ever gotten before was 10. Surprised, I went to check my picture again, only to notice two guys were sarcastically flipping me the bird in the background. FML

#20514955
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28763) - you deserved it (7914)

On 02/20/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by club goer - Canada

Today, after months of my doctor telling me that my heart palpitations are simply due to anxiety, and that I'm perfectly healthy, I decided to weight train to face my fears. Two hours later, I was in the emergency room. FML

#20527472
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28502) - you deserved it (2995)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:17pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I saw my car being broken into on the street below my apartment. Too scared to stop them myself, I called the police. Before I could even tell them what was going on, they put me on hold. It was a good 5 minutes before I realized they'd hung up on me. FML

#20524817
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28375) - you deserved it (3508)

On 02/27/2013 at 7:42pm - misc - by forgotten - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at my friend's house, when she commented that her dog's fur kept getting tangled because of its length. I reached over to tickle his tummy, felt a big tangled knot and agreed that he needed a good grooming. Then I realized what I'd grabbed wasn't fur. FML

#20523003
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28084) - you deserved it (9606)

On 02/26/2013 at 1:09pm - animals - by Puppylove (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I fell down a flight of stairs at college. I was taken to hospital with a fractured ankle and had to call my parents to drive me home. They constantly made passive-aggressive remarks on the way home, because I'd "totally ruined" their plans to eat out at a fancy restaurant tonight. FML

#20525940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27965) - you deserved it (3233)

On 02/28/2013 at 5:33pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Ards)

Today, I realised the extent of my wife's cat obsession when I received an $850 bill for the air conditioner she leaves on for our 5 cats while we are at work. FML

#20524027
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27914) - you deserved it (4011)

On 02/27/2013 at 2:12am - animals - by thecatlady (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked outside to this guy attempting to steal my bike. When I asked him what he was doing he calmly replied, "I'm a bike inspector. You hooked your chain all wrong! This time is a warning; next time it'll be a ticket!" He then threw his full, opened Pepsi can at me. FML

#20524651
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27851) - you deserved it (2267)

On 02/27/2013 at 5:39pm - misc - by Chelsea - United States (Ohio)

Today, my fiancé called me as I was clocking out. I thought he was going to tell me that he was waiting outside. Instead, he told me that he's getting arrested and needs me to call his mom for him. FML

#20529036
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27828) - you deserved it (2670)

On 03/03/2013 at 3:27am - misc - by addie (woman) - United States

Today, a colleague gave me an expensive box of chocolates for my birthday. I was surprised she spent so much on me, but didn't think much of it. Only when I got back home and excitedly opened the box did I realise the chocolates had expired months ago. FML



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