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Sunday 24 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my very conservative mom met my girlfriend, who recently shaved her head in support of her best friend, who has cancer. My girlfriend looks beautiful and feminine even with her still very short hair. My mom, however, keeps insisting that I'm dating "a confused transgender". FML

#20519321
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (2128)

On 02/23/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at a club when a notoriously desperate and disgusting guy asked me to grind with him. Hoping for some backup, I coolly said, "You'll have to ask my boyfriend." My boyfriend's response? "Yeah, man, I don't care." FML

#20513337
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32691) - you deserved it (7589)

On 02/19/2013 at 10:27am - misc - by really (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend of three years told me he was thinking about us taking a break. After an hour of crying and him saying it would be okay, I accepted it. When I asked when the break would start, he replied, "What are you talking about? I only said I'd thought about it" and then laughed. FML

#20521204
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32645) - you deserved it (6168)

On 02/25/2013 at 1:10am - love - by Gullible (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend made me play Slender. I was so terrified, I stopped playing 10 minutes in. Tonight, I kept hearing noises outside. When I peered out through the window, a bald figure in a suit was staring back at me. I shrieked in absolute terror; he burst out laughing. It was my boyfriend. FML

#20520443
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32383) - you deserved it (4868)

On 02/24/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by stillfuckingcrying (woman) - Sweden (Kalmar Lan)

Today, I met my mother's deeply religious fiancé for the first time. His response upon seeing me was to look me square in the eye and say, "You'll need to take out that nose stud or I'm afraid you'll not be welcome in our home." FML

#20513141
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (3653)

On 02/19/2013 at 2:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

#20515105
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32277) - you deserved it (13259)

On 02/20/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by its ok to cheat!? - United States (California)

Today, as I was about to open a door at school, a student opened it and hit me. As I recovered and was about to open it again, someone else opened the door, hitting me again. Everyone laughed. FML

#20527903
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32129) - you deserved it (3371)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:09am - misc - by Doors Hate Me - United States

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. I also found out that her sister is an MMA fighter. She put me in an extremely strong chokehold until I took the break-up back. FML

#20530332
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31950) - you deserved it (4527)

On 03/03/2013 at 11:47pm - love - by she also gave me a wedgie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I emailed 10 parents inviting them to my son's birthday party. All 10 emailed back saying their kids had to get a cavity filled. FML

#20517380
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31948) - you deserved it (3334)

On 02/22/2013 at 9:51am - kids - by Paris101 - United States (Missouri)

Today, my brother called me, asking if I could help him do his taxes. Since he's a high school and college dropout, I thought all I had to do was a 1040EZ. No, last year he made more than twice what I earn, through self-employment. I have two Master's degrees and work at Burger King. FML

#20527434
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31835) - you deserved it (7908)

On 03/01/2013 at 9:35pm - misc - by tax-man - United States (South Carolina)

Today, to avoid a massive delay on our scheduled flight at the airport, we were generously moved to an earlier flight home. An hour later, our new flight had been cancelled and they told us we'd be stuck at the airport overnight. Our original flight took off fine. FML

#20527906
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31824) - you deserved it (3211)

On 03/02/2013 at 9:14am - misc - by melyeah - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized just how bad I am in bed when my girlfriend literally yawned the words, "Oh God" while attempting to fake an orgasm. FML

#20515924
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31725) - you deserved it (9168)

On 02/21/2013 at 3:46am - intimacy - by pornhastaughtmenothing - United States (Washington)

Today, I filled out an application for a job at Dairy Queen. I handed my application to the manager along with my résumé, and he said he'd be in contact with me. Not even five minutes after I left, a friend who works there sent me a picture of my crumpled-up application in the trash. FML

#20526818
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31619) - you deserved it (2290)

On 03/01/2013 at 10:52am - work - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)



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