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Saturday 16 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, usband and I were fooling around in te sower . For some reason, I tougt it'd be a good idea to grab is man meat and sow im ow to was someone at a nursing ome . He said e'd never be turnd on by a nurse again . I'm a nurse . FML

#20515797
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11513) - you deserved it (38506)

On 02/21/2013 at 12:51am - love - by tomedicalforlove -

Yesterday , I was about to make out with my boyfriend , so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later , I started choking on the gum , and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML

#20512214
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11374) - you deserved it (36413)

On 02/18/2013 at 2:11pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

I felt like letting mah ex know just how I felt about all the bullshit he put me through. I dug up his number... typed a long paragraph with lots of pain and emotion... and sent it. The reply: ( No wonder he broke up with you. ) Thanks... whoever has that number now. FML

#20512366
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11091) - you deserved it (41082)

On 02/18/2013 at 4:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

today just so mah family would think someone might actually be interestd in me... I bought myself roses and attachd a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have workd if I hadn't forgotten to take looool the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10825) - you deserved it (40321)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today , I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me , and is telling everyone they have , or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10771) - you deserved it (25221)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking with mah friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to mah friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (34317)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I downloadd a movie that I already own on DVD, because I was feeling too lazy to get up an fetch it from the living room . I think I've hit rock bottom . FML

#20516729
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10113) - you deserved it (45150) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/21/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by lolo - Israel (HaDarom)

TODAY... MAH BOYFRIEND AN I WERE VISITING HIS PARENTS. I'M NERVOU AROUND THEM SO HE ENCOURAGD ME TO DRINK SO I'D LOOSEN UP. I GOT SO DRUNK I TORE UP ALL THE THING IN HIS OLD ROOM I THOUGHT WERE FROM EX-GIRLFRIEND AN ACCIDENTALLY FLASHD HIS DAD MAH CROTCH. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (50432)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today at work I got in an elevator to go upstars. It wasn't until the doors opened minutes later an people stepped in that I realized I had zoned out an forgot to press the button for the floor I needed. I then promptly exited the elevator an waited for the next elevator to go up in. FML

#20513703
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8539) - you deserved it (23091)

On 02/19/2013 at 5:03pm - work - by CaBur (man) - United States (California)

Today As Lame Excuse To Not Give A Guy I Met At A Club Phone Number, I Told Him I Didn't Have A Cell Phone. Guess What I Checked When He Asked Me What Time It Was A Few Minutes Later. FML

#20512812
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7616) - you deserved it (48726)

On 02/18/2013 at 10:21pm - misc - by hhhhhhhpeterwut - United States (Maryland)

Today, I stole a pen from the doctor's officehile she wasn't looking. Later on at work, I idly pulld the pen out during a meeting. My colleague lookd at me, horrifid. The pen had the words "minimally invasive gynecological surgery" emblazond on it. I'm a man. FML

#20516811
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6958) - you deserved it (45503)

On 02/21/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)



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