Sunday 10 February 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (3910)
On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25027) - you deserved it (2689)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24987) - you deserved it (2963)
On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24914) - you deserved it (3257)
On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)
Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24753) - you deserved it (27679)
On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24385) - you deserved it (2946)
On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24206) - you deserved it (2422)
On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24158) - you deserved it (3458)
Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24055) - you deserved it (1951)
On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)
Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24038) - you deserved it (1530)
On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door for unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there for well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23865) - you deserved it (1059)
On 02/10/2013 at 1:08am - money - by fireenginemad - United States (Washington)
Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on my chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, my 11-year-old daughter came over and banged out 12 of them. Then she wiped her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on my technique. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23853) - you deserved it (4615)
On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States
Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23842) - you deserved it (21678)
On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 17 June 2013
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