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Sunday 10 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom called me a "heartless bitch" for eating the last Hot Pocket. This is coming from a woman who, just last week, faked having cancer to get out of a speeding ticket. FML

#20511194
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33757) - you deserved it (2084)

On 02/17/2013 at 7:24pm - misc - by DontGetSlapped - United States (Arkansas)

Today, while my mother-in-law visited, I asked if she wouldn't mind watching my son for 10 minutes as I had run out of baby shampoo. I came back home to see she had shaved his head completely bald. That was his very first haircut. FML

#20494705
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33639) - you deserved it (2783)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:48pm - kids - by missedout (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I saw my neighbor's delinquent kid shooting squirrels with a BB gun. Shocked and furious at his cruel behavior, I told him to stop, with the threat of telling his parents. He responded by shooting me in the nuts and running away in a fit of laughter. FML

#20507650
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33556) - you deserved it (9991)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:42am - animals - by bettercallpeta - United States

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband had a vasectomy this past summer after our son was born and only took one of the two tests. I haven't cheated. He refuses to believe me or get his spunk checked again. FML

#20500417
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33502) - you deserved it (3221)

On 02/10/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by Totallyscrewed - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33037) - you deserved it (5760)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML

#20500833
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32983) - you deserved it (2588)

On 02/10/2013 at 11:17am - kids - by littlemiss - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

#20500118
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32837) - you deserved it (2002)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I walked past a few of my coworkers sitting outside smoking. As I got a whiff of the smoke, I coughed. They immediately started to defend their habit, and I was told to "mind my own fucking business." I wasn't trying to be rude; I'm actually allergic to cigarette smoke. FML

#20507668
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32689) - you deserved it (3587)

On 02/15/2013 at 12:53am - health - by youmindyourownbusiness - United States (Illinois)

Today, my maid of honor, who offered to take care of my wedding dress before the D-Day, left it near her open window during heavy rain. My dress is now ruined, and she's backed out due to stress. I'm supposed to be getting married tomorrow. FML

#20503604
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32662) - you deserved it (3233)

On 02/12/2013 at 12:41pm - misc - by Meaghan (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I finally confronted my bully. Too bad it was at my high school reunion and he beat the shit out of me. FML

#20505236
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32472) - you deserved it (5045)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at church, I received a text from my girlfriend, saying, "It's not working. We're over." Not only was my phone not on silent mode, I was sitting directly beside my now ex-girlfriend. FML

#20511071
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32420) - you deserved it (3947)

On 02/17/2013 at 5:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Hungary (Szeged)

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

Today, while waiting for my order at a restaurant, a woman walked up to me and slapped me. She looked at me for a moment and said "Sorry, I thought you were someone else." Ten minutes later, the same woman came back and slapped me again. FML

#20502782
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32256) - you deserved it (2387)

On 02/11/2013 at 8:42pm - misc - by Target - United States



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