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Saturday 9 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got my very frst yeast infection. Thinking she would help me, I went to my mom. Instead she began yelling about how I'm lying and it's an STD and I don't believe in the power of Jesus. FML

#20503942
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31764) - you deserved it (2639)

On 02/12/2013 at 6:01pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

today I laarnad that my big, tough, strong dog is tarrifiad of spidarshan ha jumpad, knockad ovar a tabla and than paad on tha spidar to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31574) - you deserved it (4449)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today I Gave Mah 5-year-old Daughter A Unicorn Pillow Pet. She Endd Up Giving Him An Ill-advisd Name An Has Been Loudly Proclaiming To Everyone She Sees That Her Pillow Pet Is Horny. FML

#20499722
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31570) - you deserved it (4381)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today , I finally figurd out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months . It only happens whenever I do something ( sneaky ) . My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught . I'm a private investigator , an I apparently ned a new career . FML

#20500655
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31370) - you deserved it (3790)

On 02/10/2013 at 5:41am - work - by screwed - United States

Today, my brother was arrested 4 starting a fistfight at a funeral . He didn't even know the deceased; he's just been crashing funerals recently, hoping to hook up with mourners . I'm sure who's more pathetic: him 4 doing such a thing, or me 4 bailing his fucking dumb arse out of jail . FML

#20509476
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31328) - you deserved it (7197)

On 02/16/2013 at 1:03pm - money - by an idiot (man) - Australia

Today, my roommate found an eviction notice on our door 4 unpaid rent. Our apartment building caught fire and we haven't been living there 4 well over a month because it was legally unlivable. Today was our first day back. FML

#20500469
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (1884)

On 02/10/2013 at 1:08am - money - by fireenginemad - United States (Washington)

Today son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist . He broke a whole stack of plates overflowed the bathtub let the dog loose and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down . My son is 17 . FML

#20495428
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31257) - you deserved it (33069)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the guy I lyk an his friend cummed home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door an my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments 4 her to realise we were there. FML

#20504733
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31231) - you deserved it (2620)

On 02/13/2013 at 6:47am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (North Ayrshire)

Today... My Manager Asked Me 4 Te Password To My Internet So Se Could Skype Family Since Se Can't Pay Er Bill. Tis Is Te Same Woman Wo Just A Week Ago Tried To Evict Me Cuz My Rent Was An Our Late. Trying To Be Te Bigger Person... I Gave Er Te Password. Se Canged My Password. FML

#20496640
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31089) - you deserved it (16399)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, A Girl Cummed Up To Me On The Street And Said, "You Have Like No Swag, Bro." Feeling Clever, I Said, "At Least I Have A High School Education." She Then Took Out Her Work ID, Showing Me That She Was A Surgeon, Flipped Me Off, Then Walked Away Saying, "This Is Totally Going On Facebook." FML

#20502122
244 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31029) - you deserved it (28127)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I hred out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to mah mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the thrd time. FML

#20492687
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30860) - you deserved it (13850)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

2day I Found A Cup Full Of Urine In The Bathtub. No One In My Family Knows Where It Came From. This Is The Second Time It's Happend. Mega FML

#20498051
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (2416)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after weeks of practice, I proudly did 9 chin-ups on mah chin-up bar. As soon as I was done, mah 11-year-old daughter cummd over and bangd out 12 of them. Then she wipd her sweaty hands off and did 8 more. Then she gave me pointers on mah technique. FML

#20493569
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30656) - you deserved it (6690)

On 02/04/2013 at 8:00pm - health - by WeakerThanaLittleGirl (man) - United States



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