Dad jokes FTW!

By rositaleigh - 01/07/2019 00:06

Today, my father and I were out in town when a lady walked up and commented on what a great looking couple we were. My dad puts his arm around me and says "Thank you! We've been together for 17 years." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 912

You deserved it 230

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 22/04/2009 14:09 - Hong Kong

Today, my mum and I were walking down a road where we met an old neighbour who recently got divorced. Her son who we hadn't seen for about 10 years was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! your son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is my boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 533

You deserved it 8 952

By amore89 - 28/07/2019 12:00

Today, I was with my dad at the supermarket and this guy was checking me out. My dad yells at him with a grin, "I know! I make beautiful babies!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 870

You deserved it 242

Looking good

By lexibabe - 03/03/2009 00:36 - United States

Today, I was in the bank with my seven year-old daughter, when I saw an old high school friend of mine with his wife. I said hello, and he commented on how beautiful my little girl was. I thanked him, and as I turned away, I heard his wife say, "I guess the father must be the good looking one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 010

You deserved it 2 773

By quickfingers100 - 22/05/2011 09:31 - United Kingdom

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 376

You deserved it 4 243

By Krissy. - 31/03/2009 07:04 - United States

Today, my dad and I were at the grocery store buying toilet paper. As we walk out I see these two attractive guys that I know. My dad gets that I think they're cute, so he shouts "Hey babe, how's your stomach feeling now? Will this be enough for you?" They walk away laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 759

You deserved it 4 992

By Nick Pat - 30/09/2015 13:13

Today, I took my dad out shopping. I managed to pull into a really cramped parking spot and said, "Man, that was a tight squeeze." My dad then looked me in the eyes and said, "So was your mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 668

You deserved it 2 952

By al0406 - 22/03/2009 00:34 - United States

Today, I was at lunch with my grandpa and my sister. My grandpa looks over at my sister and says, "Wow. You're so beautiful." Right after, he turns to me and says, "And you have a nice coat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 330

You deserved it 4 214

By Michelle - 03/08/2011 06:01 - United States

Today, I went bowling with my parents. This cute guy works there and he always flirts with me. My mom just so happened to see it today. As we left, she says to him, "You know she's 13, right?" I'm 17. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 140

You deserved it 3 424

By NotYourDaddy - 08/08/2017 00:31

Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 471

You deserved it 554

By Illinoisgirl - 14/02/2012 14:29 - Hungary

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 227

You deserved it 3 049

Charlie Given 26

Monday 1 July 2019 0:17

LMFAO 😂 that's a great dad come back

nemcali 34

Monday 1 July 2019 1:18

Your dad is awesome!

Comments

Charlie Given 26

Monday 1 July 2019 0:17

LMFAO 😂 that's a great dad come back

Mathalamus 24

Monday 1 July 2019 0:56

That is disturbing..

EmDizzle2007 28

Monday 1 July 2019 1:02

that shines more light on your own life than you probably want it to.

nemcali 34

Monday 1 July 2019 1:18

Your dad is awesome!

sallygee 9

Monday 1 July 2019 3:38

I think that's funny. sounds like you need to get a sense of humor. ydi

BMXDude22 12

Monday 1 July 2019 9:20

Hey dude, why d'you keep making these stupid comments? D'you ever say anything positive or interesting? ydi

evilplatypus 38

Wednesday 3 July 2019 17:04

They literally started their comment with “I think that’s funny.” That’s a positive thing. Learn to read.

Nhayaa 21

Monday 1 July 2019 5:58

When I'm with my father people always assume we're a couple even though you can really see the resemblance... But we never react the way your father did, I'll try it next time!

evilplatypus 38

Wednesday 3 July 2019 17:08

They did a psychology study not too long ago where people were given dozens of pictures of men and women they’d never met. With a fairly high degree of accuracy, they were able to correctly match the married pairs. It’s hypothesized that decades of a similar diet and shared activities lead (happily) married couples to look similar to each other. For example, my sister and her other half - because they hike and fish together, their skin tones have started to sync up and their fish and alcohol diet makes them carry weight pretty similarly.