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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a tenant in my apartment block told me about a nice shady place behind our building where he often goes to relax. Curious, I went looking for it. It was a quiet and secluded courtyard. At least until a man came out of nowhere waving a hammer in my face, screaming in a foreign language. FML

#20495981
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23364) - you deserved it (2848)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my needle-phobic mother took me to get a shot. She fainted. FML

#20503278
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23256) - you deserved it (2626)

On 02/12/2013 at 2:41am - health - by shots shots shots (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that without my birth control pills, I would have no idea what day it is. FML

#20507998
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23200) - you deserved it (15080)

On 02/15/2013 at 8:57am - health - by PurpleSloth (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend sleeps on a Princess Leia pillow. He's 22. FML

#20494713
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22678) - you deserved it (8216)

On 02/05/2013 at 5:59pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had an in-depth conversation at work about how technically Luke Skywalker was never a Jedi Master. Highlight of my working day. FML

#20497564
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22015) - you deserved it (5418)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:56pm - work - by djxerxes9000 - Canada

Today, my dad took me to the empty parking lot of Wal-Mart to try driving for the first time. All was well until he shouted at me for going too slow, which startled me into jerking the wheel and simultaneously stomping on the gas. I don't think Geico covers a Wal-Mart-sized dent in one's car. FML

Today, I asked my mother if I could have my boyfriend sleep over for Valentine's day weekend. Her response? "If you're on your period he can. Unless he's into that. Then no." FML

#20496085
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20857) - you deserved it (38297)

On 02/06/2013 at 7:26pm - intimacy - by dab1230 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

#20498986
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19915) - you deserved it (40786)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was talking to an attractive guy, but I was so nervous that I got tongue-tied and then blurted out, "Stupid autocorrect." FML

#20501923
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16856) - you deserved it (28257)

On 02/11/2013 at 3:57am - misc - by tongue tied - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought a fish. I put the tank on top of the fridge so my cat wouldn't get at it. I'd forgotten to buy some things for its tank, so I quickly ran out to get them. When I got home, I saw the tank destroyed on the floor, and my cat devouring my fish. I had the fish for less than an hour. FML

#20497647
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16526) - you deserved it (26021)

On 02/07/2013 at 10:58pm - animals - by fish killer - Canada

Today, after much coaxing, I finally got my roommate to loosen up and have a couple of beers with me and my friends. It was only later in the evening that he admitted the real reason he hadn't wanted to drink: he's an alcoholic and had been sober for six months, until now. FML

#20499970
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16264) - you deserved it (56564)

On 02/09/2013 at 6:26pm - misc - by mhmm... cumsquats (man) - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, while riding the train home, I noticed a man who kept looking at me. Annoyed, I told him to be less obvious and to stop staring. He promptly responded, "Bitch, I'm gay, and even I can tell no one would want to look at you." FML

#20505985
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13285) - you deserved it (54809)

On 02/14/2013 at 2:39am - misc - by assoutofuandme (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I won $50 on the lottery. On the subway home, I checked my pocket to see if the money was still there. A very professional man in a suit yelled, "Hey, that's mine!" I got several dirty glares. I'm such a pathetic wimp that I gave him the money. FML

#20497390
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13142) - you deserved it (50661)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:28pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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