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Friday 8 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lit my beard on fire while trying to light a cigarette driving to work. I got fired from work when I got there because of my appearance. FML

#20507167
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12928) - you deserved it (40569)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:55pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had my new boyfriend come over. Within five minutes of him arriving, I accidentally let one rip. Shocked, I quickly tried to explain it away with, "That was my shoe." I was barefoot. FML

#20503454
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12764) - you deserved it (31204)

On 02/12/2013 at 9:18am - love - by gassy - United States

Today, I had to unpick a wedgie in the street. I backed against a wall, lifted my skirt and sorted it. I then turned around and caught eye contact with several men in the barbers behind me. Not such a solid wall after all. FML

#20496820
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11815) - you deserved it (35520)

On 02/07/2013 at 7:31am - misc - by chattyloz (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, just so my family would think someone might actually be interested in me, I bought myself roses and attached a secret admirer card to them. My plan would have worked if I hadn't forgotten to take the receipt off the kitchen counter. FML

#20506184
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10818) - you deserved it (40299)

On 02/14/2013 at 8:18am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

#20504918
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10760) - you deserved it (25199)

On 02/13/2013 at 11:45am - misc - by oh my dad - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was walking with my friend. The girl in front of us had a really nice ass, so I turned to my friend and said, "Damn, she has a perfect ass." He replied, "That's a guy." FML

#20502853
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10424) - you deserved it (34293)

On 02/11/2013 at 9:30pm - misc - by notgay (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had drinks at a friend's house before going out to a concert. I still had a bottle of beer left, so I brought it along with me. I got kicked out five minutes into the show for bringing my own drink, which is apparently against the rules. I paid $75 to get kicked out over a $3 drink. FML

#20496974
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10009) - you deserved it (43353)

On 02/07/2013 at 12:11pm - misc - by loquacious shit stain (woman) - Australia

Today, I called security at my school because I left my mittens in a classroom and it was locked. When the security officer showed up, he asked if the mittens I was looking for were the ones on my hands. I even had to take one of them off to call them. FML

#20493993
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9072) - you deserved it (47449)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:24am - misc - by swarm20 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML

#20504494
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8769) - you deserved it (50443)

On 02/13/2013 at 12:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a ride along in an ambulance. Being observant, I thought it was funny that a patient had to vomit. That was until I realized they couldn't control where they had to vomit. I spent the rest of the ambulance ride holding a vomit bag in front of the woman's face. Not so funny anymore. FML

#20497764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6461) - you deserved it (49547)

On 02/08/2013 at 12:45am - work - by Kybo5 - United States (California)



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