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Wednesday 6 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (11935)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I checked out a "confessions" page for my university. The first confession was from a guy who whacked off in a campus restroom then used a computer in a lab without washing his hands. I work in that lab. FML

#20501884
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25282) - you deserved it (1488)

On 02/11/2013 at 2:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog ate a whole case of my son's paintballs, because apparently they are made of a fish bi-product. Not only does the whole house smell like fish, there are countless bright yellow dog turds all over the house and our yard. FML

#20502144
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24881) - you deserved it (2684)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:48am - animals - by firestar772 - United States (California)

Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML

#20499722
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24854) - you deserved it (2956)

On 02/09/2013 at 3:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I watched The Passion of the Christ with my girlfriend. She kept scoffing at what she called the "historical inaccuracies", and actually tried to convince me that Hitler killed Jesus. When I corrected her, she looked at me, mouth agape, as if I was insane. FML

#20498635
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24793) - you deserved it (3250)

On 02/08/2013 at 7:44pm - love - by and she doesn't even give bjs (man) - Argentina (Distrito Federal)

Today, my son threw the biggest fit in history about going to the dentist. He broke a whole stack of plates, overflowed the bathtub, let the dog loose, and kicked his father when he tried to calm him down. My son is 17. FML

#20495428
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24640) - you deserved it (27609)

On 02/06/2013 at 6:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I casually mentioned to my dad that it was the Chinese New Year yesterday. He accused me of insulting his intelligence by "making stupid shit up." I explained that it's real, and that we just use the Gregorian calendar, hence the different dates. He responded by grounding me. FML

#20501411
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24352) - you deserved it (2945)

On 02/10/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by must be adopted (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, at a friendly get-together, my friend's husband had too much to drink and got into a fistfight with my husband. I'm seven-and-a-half months pregnant, and the friendly get-together was my baby shower. FML

#20493991
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24102) - you deserved it (2414)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:22am - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I've been living in Kenya in a nasty apartment for so long that when I looked down into my drink and saw a dead fly, I just picked it out and continued drinking. FML

#20505207
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (3454)

On 02/13/2013 at 5:04pm - misc - by kenyaliving - Kenya

Today, I went to college on bike through snow and hail only to find out my professor can't make it to class due to the weather. She lives down my street. FML

#20495386
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24005) - you deserved it (1947)

On 02/06/2013 at 3:45am - misc - by refticon (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I found a cup full of urine in the bathtub. No one in my family knows where it came from. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#20498051
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23989) - you deserved it (1530)

On 02/08/2013 at 10:36am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23918) - you deserved it (3033)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, a girl came up to me on the street and said, "You have like no swag, bro." Feeling clever, I said, "At least I have a high school education." She then took out her work ID, showing me that she was a surgeon, flipped me off, then walked away saying, "This is totally going on Facebook." FML

#20502122
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23774) - you deserved it (21613)

On 02/11/2013 at 10:26am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)



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