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Saturday 2 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was talking to the girl I really like, and she was telling me how crappy her day was. Trying to be nice, I gave her a back rub. I somehow managed to unhook her bra. FML

#20498998
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27197) - you deserved it (7446)

On 02/09/2013 at 12:13am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I hurt my back while exercising. I can't bend over or lift my arms above my head without intense pain. My husband, however, finds my situation hilarious and has moved everything I use frequently to either the floor or high shelf. He giggles every time I try to retrieve anything. FML

Today, I had my gallbladder removed. I have a very painful incision in my belly that makes any kind of movement excruciating. I've had the hiccups 5 times so far. FML

Today, I had to drive to my workplace in blizzard conditions. Now that my 12 hour shift is over, I can't get out of the building, as the snow has blown into large drifts in front of the doors. I have to stay overnight until my next 12 hour shift. FML

Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML

#20500118
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26494) - you deserved it (1203)

On 02/09/2013 at 8:39pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was dragged to a Super Bowl party. While there, the host's kid threw 3 cups of apple sauce at my feet, which then exploded and covered my jeans. 10 minutes later, the host's wife announced that she was pregnant with twins. All I could come up with was, "You're making more!?" FML

#20492510
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26354) - you deserved it (3991)

On 02/04/2013 at 12:15am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my bosses for three weeks off in July to go on a much-needed vacation. Their response was to fire me on the spot. My bosses are my aunt and uncle. FML

#20489213
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26093) - you deserved it (3068)

On 02/01/2013 at 5:13pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Romania (Cluj)

Today, I hired out a motel room so I could stay there by myself and lie to my mother and grandmother about having friends. This is the third time. FML

#20492687
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26037) - you deserved it (12142)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:45am - love - by lonelyloser - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25955) - you deserved it (3826)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my roommate has been switching my protein powder with chocolate milk mix and brown sugar. Since I work out frequently, I've been consuming large amounts of this and have gained at least 10 pounds of fat. His reason? I turned his bookbag inside out. Once. FML

#20485077
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25745) - you deserved it (7583)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:56pm - health - by fatty milkshakes - United States

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25617) - you deserved it (3125)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, my manager asked me for the password to my Internet so she could Skype family since she can't pay her bill. This is the same woman who just a week ago tried to evict me because my rent was an hour late. Trying to be the bigger person, I gave her the password. She changed my password. FML

#20496640
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (11952)

On 02/07/2013 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

#20495511
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25476) - you deserved it (3910)

On 02/06/2013 at 8:59am - animals - by DogLover (woman) - United States (New York)



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