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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27867) - you deserved it (3212)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I spun off the road and into a ditch. The insurance company told me I'd have to wait an hour, as they had other cars to tow first. I had to pee so badly that I resorted to using the only thing I had in my car: a plastic bag. That's when I got a knock on my window from the tow truck driver. FML

#20489830
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27555) - you deserved it (5653)

On 02/02/2013 at 1:57am - misc - by merp. (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was given a wedgie by a complete stranger in a crowded bar. FML

#20492051
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27500) - you deserved it (2896)

On 02/03/2013 at 8:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went for a checkup after having recently been fitted with dental implants. The oral surgeon I chose was supposedly the best in the area, but it turns out that he inserted the implants at the wrong angle. Now I have to have further surgery to correct it. FML

#20487790
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27435) - you deserved it (2391)

On 01/31/2013 at 4:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I decided at age 18 that it's time to put into storage the picture books that have been collecting dust in my room for nearly a decade. My mother took this as a sign that I'm planning to move out and abandon her forever, and has been crying for the last four hours. FML

#20490721
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27301) - you deserved it (2627)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:52pm - kids - by NeverEscaping (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a car with a tail light out. Trying to be a good citizen, I walked up to the driver's side door and said "excuse me". The lady then maced me through the open window. FML

#20494408
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27145) - you deserved it (3125)

On 02/05/2013 at 12:45pm - health - by maced face - United States

Today, I was partnered up with a girl in my art class, since the teacher had asked us to take turns drawing portraits of each other. I went first and felt pretty proud of how the drawing turned out. I showed it to her and she said "That's OK. I'm not good at drawing either." FML

#20494244
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (2828)

On 02/05/2013 at 8:09am - work - by picasso - United States

Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend if she thinks I have a big package. She replied that she didn't want to upset me and get into another fight. FML

#20485057
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26757) - you deserved it (38286)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm - intimacy - by notsobig - United States

Today, I ran into a former co-worker who I hadn't seen in years. She was raving at how I hadn't aged a bit, but before I could thank her she said, "But, you know, chubby people age better." FML

#20492811
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26751) - you deserved it (3275)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:17am - work - by Colleen Nichols - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my kitten made it snow inside my house using a 12-pack of toilet paper. FML

#20495653
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26391) - you deserved it (5006)

On 02/06/2013 at 1:00pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, working as a nurse, I saw a patient in for follow-up after a partial leg amputation. I checked her blood pressure and gave her the reading, which prompted her husband to ask what it meant. She replied, "I'm alive." Before I could stop myself, "And kicking" spilled out of my mouth. FML

#20493802
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26269) - you deserved it (8657)

On 02/04/2013 at 10:30pm - health - by facepalm - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML

#20492659
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26186) - you deserved it (2945)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mother "checked in" to rehab on Facebook. The same rehab that told her to hand over her smartphone. The dumbass was smart enough to steal my phone and dumb enough to get it confiscated. FML

#20485491
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 10:18pm - health - by motherless - Australia (New South Wales)



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