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Friday 1 February 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my co-worker told me that I need to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML

#20493545
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22446) - you deserved it (2417)

On 02/04/2013 at 7:42pm - health - by Mattrd - United States

Today, I attended my first surgery as part of my program at med school. I found out that when I see someone's intestines, I vomit. Even if I'm still wearing a surgical mask. There goes the thousands of dollars I spent on college. FML

#20495058
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22353) - you deserved it (4864)

On 02/05/2013 at 10:08pm - health - by A troubled ex med school student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to do my laundry. Having no laundry bag, I put clothes in a suitcase and headed to the basement. When my roommate saw me, she burst into tears with happiness. FML

#20496887
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22287) - you deserved it (3771)

On 02/07/2013 at 9:45am - misc - by BonGoWash - United States (New York)

Today, after heavy rain my street flooded. While in my living room, I looked outside to see that my elderly neighbour was outside splashing in a knee deep puddle. He was butt-naked and wearing a snorkel and flippers. FML

#20492744
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22261) - you deserved it (2188)

On 02/04/2013 at 4:15am - misc - by Stunned (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was moving into my new apartment. The previous owner had refused to move out until today, and when I got there, I realized I didn't have a key. I was about to call him when I found out I didn't need to; he took the door. FML

#20486186
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (1206)

On 01/30/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by jeoak - India

Today, at a mixed-family game of rugby, my dad resorted to calling me a "goddamned accident" and eventually body-slamming me, just so I'd stop playing long enough for his team to score. FML

#20498727
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22042) - you deserved it (2100)

On 02/08/2013 at 8:53pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend and I arrived at our pre-paid hotel for a romantic evening. When we went to sign in, they had no reservation for us, however they did yesterday. The payment is non-refundable. FML

#20493202
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21908) - you deserved it (3619)

On 02/04/2013 at 3:47pm - money - by perfect (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while checking out a couple at work, I handed them their receipt and wished them a good day. The woman promptly pulled her husband to the side, and whispered to him about how much of a "fucking idiot" I was for making the prices so high. I work at McDonald's. FML

#20488361
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21874) - you deserved it (1672)

On 01/31/2013 at 11:06pm - work - by stupidapperently (woman) - United States

Today, I told my parents that I was going to hang out with some friends. My dad guffawed and said, "Ooh, look at Mary, pretending she has a social life." Thanks, Dad. FML

#20498469
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21688) - you deserved it (2020)

On 02/08/2013 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Havering)

Today, I had to have major oral surgery. Needless to say I am in need of some heavy pain medication. My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never called in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise. This has been going back and forth for hours. FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21664) - you deserved it (1104)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, the new manager at my workplace left early in a panic, exclaiming, "My grandma had an accident! I need to see if she's okay!" I was left in charge of the bar once again. This is the sixth time this week his grandma has had an "accident". FML

#20490841
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21539) - you deserved it (1485)

On 02/02/2013 at 9:47pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had a half-hour conversation with my parents about going to college. I don't know what's worse, that they were trying to talk me out of it or that they're convinced that I'm going to get knocked up and drop out by the end of my freshman year. FML

#20492659
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21425) - you deserved it (2064)

On 02/04/2013 at 2:12am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

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  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

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