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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad for the first time. His shirt said "D.A.D.D, Dads Against Daughters Dating, shoot the first one and word will spread". FML

#20480699
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25947) - you deserved it (2361)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:57am - love - by pdub523 - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML

#20471606
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25860) - you deserved it (4449)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm - misc - by blank - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25853) - you deserved it (3819)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, during lunch, my coworker offered me her food, claiming she was full. I was still quite hungry, so I accepted it. Halfway through eating the sandwiches, my boss walked in and started interrogating people over who took his lunch. I quickly realized I was the one eating it. FML

#20479916
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (2450)

On 01/26/2013 at 3:44pm - work - by FUCK THE PIGS (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a text from an unknown number saying, "You shouldn't be eating that." I was eating a piece of chocolate, cheating on my diet. FML

#20480667
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25535) - you deserved it (15160)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:38am - misc - by LucidNightmare - United States (Colorado)

Today, my 5-year-old nephew had the most amazing idea: to play a game with my keys. He took out all ten keys individually and hid them around the house. So far it's been two hours and I haven't found a single one. FML

#20485810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25472) - you deserved it (3118)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:03am - kids - by idislikeblanks (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got so lonely I decided to make sock puppets and play with them. I played for four hours straight, only to be interrupted by a phone call. I didn't answer because my sock puppets were "on a date" and I didn't want to stop playing. FML

#20489987
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25415) - you deserved it (14151)

On 02/02/2013 at 7:08am - misc - by ineedalife (woman) - Australia

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25343) - you deserved it (3096) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my boyfriend gave me the most beautiful diamond ring I have ever seen. As I excitedly put it on my finger, he told me it wasn't an engagement ring, but I should wear it like one to keep other men away and seem "unapproachable". FML

#20488292
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25287) - you deserved it (3491)

On 01/31/2013 at 10:35pm - love - by whatsername92 (woman) - United States

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25055) - you deserved it (1733)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my best friend has been stealing hundreds of dollars from me and my fiancé. My wedding is tomorrow morning. Guess who my best man is. FML

#20483262
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25025) - you deserved it (2067)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:01pm - love - by weddingsalwayssuck - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend complimented me on my ass. Before I could say thanks, she continued by commenting that she wouldn't mind "breaking it in". FML

#20478275
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24940) - you deserved it (3948)

On 01/25/2013 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by great (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24859) - you deserved it (2537)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)



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