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Saturday 26 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I told my parents that what I'd really like for my 21st birthday is the 1865 edition of the Memoirs of Saint-Simon in 22 volumes that I found online for $200, and have been wanting for months. They laughed and said, "Yeah, right. We'll get you an iPhone and perhaps you'll become normal." FML

#20488681
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34409) - you deserved it (9156)

On 02/01/2013 at 4:19am - misc - by HistoryFreak (woman) - France

Today, I saw a lady who had fainted. I ran over to help, only to find out that she was unstable and had a knife in her hand. She was pointing it at me, and growled threateningly every time I tried to move away. It took the cops an hour to defuse the situation. FML

#20484368
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33745) - you deserved it (2413)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:48am - misc - by thegirlofthedad (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, my mom went to court to finalize her divorce. I would have felt sorry for her, had this not been her 7th husband. FML

#20476021
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (2681)

On 01/24/2013 at 2:19am - misc - by HereWeGoAgain (woman) - United States

Today, I'm getting married. A few months ago, I allowed my mother in-law to take care of catering. She begged to be a part of the wedding, so I gave her the caterer's number and order info. It appears that I will not be eating at my own wedding because she decided to order food I'm allergic to. FML

#20482739
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33389) - you deserved it (6210)

On 01/28/2013 at 6:52am - love - by forever1990 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 years decided to buy a $2500 taxidermied wolf on eBay. This is the same guy who refuses to get engaged because it would "cost too much right now." FML

#20487239
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33263) - you deserved it (5369)

On 01/31/2013 at 2:23am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while video chatting with my girlfriend, who lives on the other side of the country, I thought I'd play a song for her on my guitar. The string broke and hit me in the face. I burst into tears and had to hang up. FML

#20471171
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32946) - you deserved it (7566)

On 01/21/2013 at 12:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a ladder at work, fetching some stock from one of the storage shelves. Some teenage kid thought it would be fucking hilarious to grab the ladder and violently shake it. He hadn't bet on me being startled enough to fall off and fracture my elbow on the floor. FML

#20481589
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32865) - you deserved it (2102)

On 01/27/2013 at 4:59pm - health - by fucking teen cunts (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, thanks to our computer's browser history, I found out that my wife has been searching for local therapists who deal with cases of severe sex addiction. We've only had sex twice since we got married four months ago. FML

#20487689
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32812) - you deserved it (3275)

On 01/31/2013 at 12:08pm - love - by papersofdivorce (man) - Peru (Lima)

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32715) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, my mom had the option of choosing anywhere in the world where we could go on vacation. We live in the USA and she chose to fly to Texas, rent an RV, and drive to Florida. Anywhere in the world. FML

#20482339
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32425) - you deserved it (2870)

On 01/27/2013 at 11:48pm - misc - by j_Lauren (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32413) - you deserved it (5496)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32247) - you deserved it (4568) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32167) - you deserved it (4577)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)



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