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Today, I had lunch with an attractive foreign exchange student from Dresden. After bombarding her with questions about Russia, she smiled and kindly told me that Dresden is in Germany. Everyone laughed. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our anniversary. I had cooked him a romantic meal and we were planning on eating it in front of the fire. This would have gone great had I not forgotten to unblock the chimney. My entire basement filled with smoke and didn't clear for three hours. FML
Today, I took a swig of lemonade from my cup, only to feel something hard in my mouth. Thinking it was a roach or something, I freaked out and spat out the drink. I doused my laptop and soaked myself in the process, only to find out it was a small ice-cube. FML
Today, I have been waiting for a call from a job I applied for. I soon got a text from my current boss, who doesn't know I'm job hunting, letting me know that the recruiter was trying to reach me. Turns out my number on my resumé was wrong. FML
Today, I was at the gas station with my grandma. After I slid her card and began to pump, I convinced her that it was a lot easier and more convenient to pay at the pump with your credit card instead of paying inside. She yelled as I realized I went $20 over what she had to spend. FML