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Wednesday 23 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

while getting intimate with looool my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She hered the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30020) - you deserved it (3465)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took a taxi ride with mah friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out mah friend had already paid. FML

#20475292
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (6980)

On 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm - money - by stevenr579 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today , my fiancé's mother cummed up to me an told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history an condition . I have no ideahat she's talking about , an she refuses to tell me . FML

#20485066
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29405) - you deserved it (2416)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (4195)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went an bought lunch 4 all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. big fat FML

#20473074
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29372) - you deserved it (2902)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend . I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics . Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug . I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle . mega FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29365) - you deserved it (2950)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today , at mah 6-year-old son's brthday party , I had to explain to mah boyfriend that it's not okay to use condom as party balloons . FML

#20477498
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29294) - you deserved it (5906)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend causd the pair of us to loose by just a single point, because he answerd "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML

#20480093
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29192) - you deserved it (6625)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by twohoursclosertodeath (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I have to take a midterm, which is worth a large part of my grade. All our teacher has taught us so far is how to roast s'mores over a Bunsen burner, and how to make gummy beres explode. Our test is on kinetics. FML

#20471562
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29094) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/21/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, during a date, I discovered that if I cough with my mouth closed, snot will spray from my nose all over the place lyk some kind of mucus cannon!! FML

#20484952
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28925) - you deserved it (6298)

On 01/29/2013 at 4:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today , I got my retainer fitted. It stimulates my gag reflex so badly that I gag every time I try so say anything with a 'P' in it. My orthodontist laughed an suggested I get a thesaurus. FML

#20485855
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28851) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/30/2013 at 2:52am - health - by Miss Blairgowrie (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's been two days since upstars nieghbour's toilet started flooding both our apartments!! I have to go to the bathroom with an umbrella!! FML

#20471583
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28747) - you deserved it (2321) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/21/2013 at 3:24pm - misc - by normal - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

today I had to looool have major oral surgery . Needless to say I am in ned of some heavy pain medication . My pharmacist insists that my surgeon never calld in my medicine, and my surgeon insists otherwise . This has been going back and forth fir hours . FML

#20483291
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28687) - you deserved it (1930)

On 01/28/2013 at 4:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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