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Tuesday 22 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I led a class of grade-two pupils on an excursion to the zoo. When we went to see the lions I was put in a position where I had to explain to seven and eight year olds why one lion was "bouncing" on top of the other one. FML

#20477486
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30382) - you deserved it (2712)

On 01/25/2013 at 12:25am - kids - by teacher - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my husband quit his stable job of 12 years at the bank to pursue a career selling kites. If we don't end up homeless because of this, god knows we will when he has a real mid-life crisis. FML

#20480052
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30365) - you deserved it (3265)

On 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

Today, I was hanging out with my new boyfriend, and he took me back to his house for the first time. Taped to his bedroom door was a sheet of paper emblazoned with the words: "THE RAPE DUNGEON". I feel safer already. FML

#20478132
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30287) - you deserved it (4524)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:51pm - love - by vagina dentata for christmas, pls (woman) - United States

Today, someone put a whole packet of glitter on the blades of my ceiling fan. Too bad I only noticed when I turned it on. FML

#20482822
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30182) - you deserved it (3706)

On 01/28/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by hopelessteej (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was suffering from an asthma attack, so I grabbed my inhaler and took a puff. This was probably very disturbing for the earwig which had somehow made my puffer its home, as I discovered when it shot into my mouth. FML

#20477568
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30095) - you deserved it (2461)

On 01/25/2013 at 1:30am - health - by asthmattack (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

#20472773
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30005) - you deserved it (2613)

On 01/22/2013 at 6:14am - work - by Job Seeking (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, and had to run to the bathroom to evacuate my bowels. She heard the horrible sounds, and I doubt I'll ever be able to seduce her again. FML

#20480710
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29969) - you deserved it (3461)

On 01/27/2013 at 1:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML

#20475292
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29636) - you deserved it (6974)

On 01/23/2013 at 6:33pm - money - by stevenr579 (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my fiancé's mother came up to me and told me she loves that I stuck with my soon-to-be husband despite his history and condition. I have no idea what she's talking about, and she refuses to tell me. FML

#20485066
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29347) - you deserved it (2411)

On 01/29/2013 at 5:46pm - love - by Aspireworks - United States

Today, I went and bought lunch for all the people I work with. The only meal the place forgot was mine. FML

#20473074
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29318) - you deserved it (2891)

On 01/22/2013 at 1:49pm - work - by me - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went shopping first thing in the morning to avoid the crowd. Having recently had surgery on my knee, I used an electric scooter to shop. The scooter died in the middle of the store. No one was around to help me. FML

#20480640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29314) - you deserved it (4189)

On 01/27/2013 at 12:23am - health - by crippled shopper - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the grocery store with my boyfriend. I wasn't feeling well so I wasn't paying too much attention to his usual antics. Since he thought I was ignoring him, he decided to grab me roughly by the stomach to give me a hug. I ended up puking right in the middle of the aisle. FML

#20484554
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29302) - you deserved it (2945)

On 01/29/2013 at 9:51am - health - by oh no (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my boyfriend tried to hypnotize me into breaking up with him. FML

#20485216
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/29/2013 at 7:28pm - love - by theawfulpresent (woman) - United States (Maryland)



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