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Wednesday 16 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my kitten tried jumping into a hot oven, a dryer, a dishwasher, a toilet, and a fish-tank. Curiosity is going to kill my cat. FML

#20470154
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31223) - you deserved it (3220)

On 01/20/2013 at 8:47pm - animals - by AnonCat (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother burst into tears and hysterics when she found out my fiancée and I were not "pure" for our upcoming wedding. I'm 28, she's 27, and we've lived together for four years. FML

#20472693
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30940) - you deserved it (4451)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:09am - love - by deflower (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML

#20467403
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30888) - you deserved it (6585)

On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML

#20461359
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30503) - you deserved it (2701)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I visited my family. Over the course of 2 hours, my brother punched me, and my mom slapped me across the face after drinking way too much wine. When I started gathering my things to leave, my mom started crying about how I don't visit enough. FML

#20474780
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30388) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/23/2013 at 12:45pm - misc - by mariama (woman) - United States

Today, I went on a date with a co-worker I've been interested in for some time. The topic of discussion she chose over lunch: how she's living a double-life as an escort in Flint and that she thinks she's picked up an STD from unprotected sex. FML

#20472998
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30364) - you deserved it (3472)

On 01/22/2013 at 12:20pm - love - by SonofDonald (man) - United States

Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML

#20458321
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30334) - you deserved it (2672)

On 01/14/2013 at 12:52am - health - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my mum excitedly discussed with me the prospect of starting a mother-son YouTube duo. Thinking she was joking, I went along with it. She is now installing a 24-hour webcam in the house to record our conversations, which she perceives as hilarious, and is going to upload them. FML

#20458570
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30324) - you deserved it (7398)

On 01/14/2013 at 5:06am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, the drummer of my band briefly mentioned something about not being allowed into the United States, just as he left our last practice before our big tour in America. FML

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30251) - you deserved it (5240)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while on the bus, the guy sitting beside me let out the vilest and most nauseating fart I've ever encountered, the kind that could retroactively sterilize five generations of one's ancestors with the smell alone. As I gagged, he smirked and said, "That's Taco Bell for ya." FML

#20466884
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30218) - you deserved it (2590)

On 01/18/2013 at 8:32pm - misc - by methane overload (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriend found out you can use food coloring in anything. Everything she cooks is now in bright neon colors. I feel like I'm in a Dr Seuss book. FML

#20475517
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (5232)

On 01/23/2013 at 8:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I bought my first house, blowing nearly all my savings on the deposit. I had left myself enough for just a couple of necessary bits of furniture. It turns out the previous owner completely stripped the house when he left, taking the oven and even the toilet with him, amongst other things. FML

#20472701
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30091) - you deserved it (11583)

On 01/22/2013 at 3:27am - money - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)



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