Sunday 13 January 2013 
Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18802) - you deserved it (1590)
On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (2182)
On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18385) - you deserved it (7090)
On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)
Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18242) - you deserved it (6465)
On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16652) - you deserved it (4826)
On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16578) - you deserved it (1696)
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16096) - you deserved it (25771)
On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, my wife brought my 5-year-old daughter to visit me at the office. My boss has a speech impediment, and when she heard it, she exclaimed, "Hey my daddy can sound just like you! Show him daddy! Show him!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15959) - you deserved it (28349)
On 01/12/2013 at 3:14am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14996) - you deserved it (27274)
On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I let my friend bleach my hair, which resulted in it falling out in clumps. I spent $150 at the beauty salon fixing it and cutting most of it off. I sent the pictures of my new hair to my friends, and I got the same reply from each and every one of them: "That better be a wig." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14185) - you deserved it (18584)
On 01/17/2013 at 2:53am - misc - by goodlord12 (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13979) - you deserved it (23546)
On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was driving and noticed a police car parked in a spot reserved for the handicapped. I stopped my car and got out to take a picture. The cop gave me a ticket for parking in the road. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13625) - you deserved it (29493)
On 01/19/2013 at 1:14am - money - by LaLince (man) - Switzerland
Today, the abandoned cat that I took in for the night and during bad weather seems to have spread fleas around my house. They're everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13351) - you deserved it (29734)
On 01/10/2013 at 9:41pm - animals - by jesspie - United Kingdom
Monday 20 May 2013
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