Saturday 12 January 2013 
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Today, as usual, my cat was sleeping on my stomach. I couldn't fall asleep so I delicately picked him up and put him down next to me. He got up, hopped back onto me, gave me a slap and then went back to sleep on my stomach. I didn't dare move all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26133) - you deserved it (10129) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 01/18/2013 at 6:39am - animals - by dormeur - Sent from mobile version
Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with my girlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake my mother. My girlfriend came and swung open the door onto my foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26122) - you deserved it (4192)
On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, after working the midnight shift at my job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with my boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (4231)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, the lead singer of the band I recently joined blatantly admitted to a fan that the only reason he let me in was because I'm "so fuckin' ugly" that I make the rest of them look "ten times better" in comparison. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25825) - you deserved it (2253)
On 01/17/2013 at 3:50pm - misc - by sad drummer (man) - United States (California)
Today, my grandfather asked me why the broccoli I served for dinner was white. I told him it was cauliflower. He would't believe me, accused me of being a Russian spy, and stormed out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25798) - you deserved it (1834)
On 01/15/2013 at 7:58pm - misc - by veggieluver (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that my home-made pasta sauce had a weird taste to it because my basil patch in the backyard has become my dog's preferred spot to pee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25744) - you deserved it (4972)
On 01/19/2013 at 2:40am - animals - by damnthedog (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (1280)
On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)
Today, I was the last person in line for going on the bus. Incidentally, I was right behind a guy way taller and wider than me. When he got on the bus, the bus driver immediately shut the door behind him. I was left outside chasing after the bus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25699) - you deserved it (1437)
On 01/16/2013 at 1:42am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I realized that I'm so depressed that I can't even watch porn without getting upset about how I can't get laid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25656) - you deserved it (6448)
On 01/17/2013 at 8:16pm - intimacy - by jakeeey - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
I agree, your life sucks (25558) - you deserved it (4692)
On 01/16/2013 at 5:48am - health - by ChubbyButt (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25551) - you deserved it (5134)
On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I took my grandma to what I thought was a nice movie. An actor used the word "cunt", which prompted her to ask what that word meant in a loud "whisper". She followed up even more loudly with, "Does that mean pussy?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25475) - you deserved it (3294)
On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, our company's owner's son took over. The first thing he did? Fire me. Why? He said my sales are down. I work in Public Relations. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25423) - you deserved it (1085)
On 01/16/2013 at 7:35pm - work - by itsjustwill - United States (Washington)
Monday 17 June 2013
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