Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my dad, thinking it was an advertisement, threw away a letter from the college I applied to. FML

#20454916
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37460) - you deserved it (2557)

On 01/12/2013 at 4:52am - misc - by gdog10122 - United States

Today, while giving my girlfriend a back-rub, she moaned and commented, "If only you could fuck this well." FML

#20455279
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36797) - you deserved it (8775)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:57pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

Today, I had to explain to my husband that the 5-second rule doesn't apply if you drop the floss into the toilet. FML

#20458013
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36640) - you deserved it (3016)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:36pm - misc - by PeeFlavouredFloss (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36605) - you deserved it (5071)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36410) - you deserved it (9313)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML

#20458512
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36307) - you deserved it (6481)

On 01/14/2013 at 3:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36219) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I attended my aunt's open-casket funeral. My sister spent the first quarter of an hour neither grieving nor celebrating her life, but whining that the "cute" clothes my aunt was dressed in could have been handed down to her, instead of being "wasted". FML

Today, I went on a run with my crush. She expressed how happy she was to have a decent running partner, because the last one kept complaining he thought he might throw up. We got to the top of the hill and I puked right in front of her. FML

#20463224
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35887) - you deserved it (4417)

On 01/16/2013 at 7:53pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend returned home from a several week vacation with family. Instead of a happy reunion, I was terribly emasculated, publicly, for bringing flowers that "weren't as pretty as all the other couples' in baggage claim." FML

#20458802
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35732) - you deserved it (3433)

On 01/14/2013 at 10:47am - misc - by badenoughflowers - United States (Texas)

Today, a bull escaped from the small farm down the street. It ended up in my yard and would not let me outside. I called animal control, who said, "We only deal with regular animals." FML

#20465397
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35661) - you deserved it (2400)

On 01/17/2013 at 10:48pm - animals - by bull-stuff - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35612) - you deserved it (2878)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my husband sent me a text before heading home from work. All it said was, "Need a fuck. Backed up to hell. You're about to shower face first in a fire hydrant." Love you too, hun. FML

#20466497
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35267) - you deserved it (5816)

On 01/18/2013 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: