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Saturday 12 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, when I asked my boss why my bonus was cut in half, he replied, "I have no idea what you really do." I'm the IT Manager. FML

#20465650
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29287) - you deserved it (2478)

On 01/18/2013 at 12:53am - money - by Anon - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be sweet, I told my girlfriend that I'm so happy we met one another. She muttered, "Well, that makes one of us." FML

#20453944
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29226) - you deserved it (2821)

On 01/11/2013 at 5:22pm - misc - by wtf did i do?? (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after sleeping with my boyfriend for the first time. I rolled over and smiled at him, and the first thing he said was, "You farted. A lot." FML

#20446049
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29202) - you deserved it (6004)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the hospital with stomach pains. I found out I have mono, as well as a ruptured ovarian cyst, which may need surgery. I called my best friend for support, only for her to drunkenly yell at me for not being at her party, and that this could have waited till a better time. FML

#20452288
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29177) - you deserved it (3417)

On 01/10/2013 at 6:11pm - health - by thanksforthat (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my grandmother called me to tell me that there will be a nice, single guy for me to meet at the family reunion. She went on and on about how perfect he was for me. I didn't have the heart to tell her I'm a lesbian, and have been out to the rest of the family for over six years. FML

#20451316
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28993) - you deserved it (11094)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:25am - love - by RP Havens (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after getting into an argument with my dad, he told me that I would make a great ex wife one day. FML

#20467602
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28820) - you deserved it (6603)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:51am - love - by Claire - United States (Maryland)

Today, my boyfriend of a year asked me to move in with him. I would have been touched at this gesture, had he not asked in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kicked out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28816) - you deserved it (3494)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (3150)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

#20450136
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (7151)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:57pm - misc - by thanksmom (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, someone broke into my car by smashing the driver's side window. I'd be less irritated if they had just used the door handle; the lock has been broken for years. FML

#20467580
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28467) - you deserved it (3059)

On 01/19/2013 at 8:14am - money - by Perplexed - United States (South Dakota)

Today, after months of searching and several emotional breakdowns, I finally found a new job. My wife's words of encouragement? "Try not to fuck this one up." FML

#20464089
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28434) - you deserved it (8774)

On 01/17/2013 at 5:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret. He then added that his mother picked it out. FML

#20459473
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28413) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, my 14-year-old son showed me a "bird's egg" he was looking after in his room. It was a dried up dog turd. FML

#20451321
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28184) - you deserved it (7417)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:28am - kids - by Facepalmum (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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