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Friday 11 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my mom wished me "Happy Conception Day." FML

#20462817
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (4006)

On 01/16/2013 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my roommate came back drunk from rushing fraternities. Normally I wouldn't have minded, had he not immediately pissed and thrown up everywhere after entering the room. If only I had moved my guitar and the suitcase full of clothes I had left out after returning from break. FML

Today, I was walking my dog when he decided that he was too lazy to continue walking. It ended up with me looking like a crazy dog lady carrying my medium-sized dog home. FML

#20448490
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25667) - you deserved it (4610)

On 01/08/2013 at 6:56pm - animals - by life// (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25295) - you deserved it (34236)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23718) - you deserved it (9416)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I found out that my sleep-walking is so bad that I regularly text my friend while I sleep. I have no idea how many times this has happened. FML

#20455938
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (3053)

On 01/12/2013 at 8:30pm - health - by I'm screwed - Canada (Alberta)

Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML

#20445898
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23206) - you deserved it (1892)

On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23072) - you deserved it (7195)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
326 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22601) - you deserved it (61781)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was on a plane and realized that the woman next to me was hiding a hedgehog in a plastic container. I'm severely afraid of hedgehogs but not wanting to give the woman up and get her in trouble, I tried to stay quiet. Which led to me to quietly hyperventilate and pass out on the plane. FML

#20445879
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22384) - you deserved it (6694)

On 01/07/2013 at 5:21am - health - by scaredofhedges (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad made a voodoo doll out of a melon. This seems to happen a lot. FML

#20449532
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21067) - you deserved it (2365)

On 01/09/2013 at 2:02am - misc - by Anonymous - Israel

Today, my dad was helping me move my stuff out. I'd asked my boyfriend to deal with my sex toys and lingerie, but still my dad showed up later at my new place, handed me a box full of them all, and simply said, "I don't want to know." FML

#20454623
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21051) - you deserved it (35962)

On 01/12/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by nean83 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML

#20460283
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19765) - you deserved it (36451)

On 01/15/2013 at 2:33am - animals - by I think its dead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)



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