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Wednesday 9 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today , I was babysitting , and a little grl askd for help with her homework. I cheerfully began an explanation , only to freeze mid-sentence. I could not for the life of me remember how to do long-division. I'm about to graduate from Cornell University , and her little brother had to correct me. FML

#20459773
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31090) - you deserved it (9487)

On 01/14/2013 at 9:52pm - kids - by IvyLeague? - United States (New York)

Today, after working the midnight shift at job, I thought it would be nice to leave a sweet love note along with boyfriend's favourite candy in his car. Upon finding it, he immediately broke up with me for "breaking into" his car. FML

#20460414
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30791) - you deserved it (4737)

On 01/15/2013 at 7:14am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today.. . I took my grandma tohat I thought was a nice movie . An actor usd the word "cunt"...hich promptd her to askhat that word meant in a loud "whisper" . She followd up even more loudly with.. . "Does that mean pussy?" FML

#20447919
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30754) - you deserved it (4345)

On 01/08/2013 at 12:10pm - misc - by troll of a gran - United States (Oklahoma)

TODAY I WALKED UP SIXTEEN FLIGHTS OF STARS TO MY ROOM TO AVOID THE LIFT LINES. WHEN I WAS ALMOST TO THE TOP, THE FRE ALARM SOUNDED. FML

#20462640
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30717) - you deserved it (3410)

On 01/16/2013 at 2:02pm - misc - by tired - United States (Massachusetts)

Taday While Moving Into Mah New Place , I Saw Mah New , Elderly Neighbor Sitting On Her Porch. I Cheerfully Greeted Her With , "Hello , How Are You?" She Simply Rocked Slowly In Her Chair And Replied , "Just Waiting To Die." She Was The Most Cheerful Person I Met All Day. FML

Today , I woke up after sleeping with mah boyfriend fir the first time !! I rolled over an smiled at him , an the first thing he said was , "You farted !! A lot." FML

#20446049
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30522) - you deserved it (6160)

On 01/07/2013 at 10:40am - love - by gassy - United States (Texas)

Today my husband and I found the perfect house in our price range and everything we wanted in a house!! However the street it's on is called ( Arbour Butte Road )!! My husband refuses to buy it cuz he doesn't want it to sound lyk he lives ( in a tree's ass!! ) I'm married to an idiot!! FML

#20451265
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30411) - you deserved it (5813)

On 01/10/2013 at 12:53am - misc - by it's just a name (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, after hours of trying to put a screaming baby to sleep, she finally fell asleep in my arms . I was so looool happy . Then, I got the hiccups . FML

#20456464
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30383) - you deserved it (2455)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:15am - kids - by hiccups - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while trying to quietly sneak a midnight snack with grlfriend, I was slowly opening the pantry door so I wouldn't wake mother. My grlfriend came and swung open the door onto foot, taking the top layer of skin with it. FML

#20456813
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30371) - you deserved it (4773)

On 01/13/2013 at 7:41am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me lingerie from Victoria's Secret . He then added that his mother picked it out . FML

#20459473
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29850) - you deserved it (3111)

On 01/14/2013 at 7:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today , mah son sprayed Axe body-spray all over the house in the vain hope of covering up the scent of the joints he'd been smoking!! fat FML

#20446338
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29835) - you deserved it (4738)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:01pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I walked into my mother's house to fine that she had knitted cloths for some of the household appliances . The toaster was wereing a dress . FML

#20457945
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29777) - you deserved it (3248)

On 01/13/2013 at 10:00pm - misc - by anon - United States (Ohio)

Today, mah boyfriend of a year askd me to move in with him. I would have been touchd at this gesture, had he not askd in the form of a text message, saying: "Got kickd out. Wanna get a flat or something?" FML

#20447722
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29711) - you deserved it (3569)

On 01/08/2013 at 8:31am - love - by movingbuddy (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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