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Monday 7 January 2013

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Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. After he left my place, I realized he took my Sonicare toothbrush because he knew that I would be more upset about missing that than our relationship. He was right. I am really upset about it. FML

by niki / 01/09/2013 at 9:37pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, while at work, a Beatles song came on the radio. I jokingly said, "These guys are pretty good, are they new?" Everyone thought I was being serious, and now they're convinced I'm an idiot. FML

by EffUrEll / 01/07/2013 at 7:58pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a little girl came in and asked if we had any dance clothes. As I showed her, I asked if she was in a competition. When she said yes, I crossed my fingers and told her I hoped she would win. Unfortunately, I didn't cross them properly and I accidentally gave her the finger. FML

by georgiamarshall_ / 01/09/2013 at 5:42am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

by drake86 / 01/09/2013 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Argyll and Bute) / Miscellaneous

Today, in an elaborate plan to finally meet my cute neighbor, I convinced my friendly mailman to switch up our mail so I'd have an excuse to meet her. After I delivered her mail, I waited for her to mention that she had my mail, but she never did. I even saw her take it out of her mail box. FML

by james88 / 01/07/2013 at 4:39pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love

Today, during an hour-long drive, my sister told me she's lost her "faith in humanity", because one of her friends bought his 8-year-old son an iPad. She uses this stupid expression all the time, and I got so pissed off that I forgot to brake at a red light, rear-ending the car in front of us. FML

by lostmyfaithinblowjobs / 01/11/2013 at 9:16pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Transportation

Today, I was laughing at a girl who really sucks at badminton. Turns out she has anger issues, and a really good aim when she's mad. I've never been hit so hard in the crotch before. FML

by Anon / 01/09/2013 at 2:27pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous