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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML

#20441551
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (4952)

On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23572) - you deserved it (4861)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (9952)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, my hamster died. It climbed out of its cage and jumped off my dresser. Looking for condolences, I told my mom who replied, "If I lived in your room, I would have done it earlier." FML

#20453156
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22879) - you deserved it (5776)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:09am - animals - by deadhammy (man) - United States (California)

Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML

#20446465
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22597) - you deserved it (7121)

On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML

#20441192
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22471) - you deserved it (1702)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:36pm - misc - by millavitsa - Ukraine

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

#20455481
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22368) - you deserved it (3393)

On 01/12/2013 at 3:12pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my mom made up a new game. She thinks it's hilarious to hide my brother's creepy Batman toy around the house to creep me out. This has been going on for hours and I still scream every time. FML

#20454752
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22330) - you deserved it (9167)

On 01/12/2013 at 1:36am - misc - by poohanne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22130) - you deserved it (2091)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

#20446350
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22022) - you deserved it (1986)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:09pm - love - by Sawarski - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21830) - you deserved it (60239)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)



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