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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36600) - you deserved it (3290)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my grandfather smiling at his penis. FML

#20449931
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36564) - you deserved it (5068)

On 01/09/2013 at 11:48am - misc - by lovingthis - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog died. We planned to get her cremated and keep the ashes. My sister put forward the idea of putting the ashes in our food so our dog can be "inside of us, always." She's completely serious. I'm scared to eat food from her now. FML

#20438971
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36486) - you deserved it (2359)

On 01/02/2013 at 4:53pm - animals - by Anon. -

Today, I told my girlfriend that my identical twin and I are not in fact related, that he's adopted, and that the only reason we look exactly the same is because we eat and drink the same things. She actually believed it. FML

#20453003
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36410) - you deserved it (9313)

On 01/11/2013 at 12:20am - misc - by datingablonde - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my son got his first tooth, and is enthusiastically biting everything. I breastfeed. FML

#20450046
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36216) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/09/2013 at 1:48pm - kids - by loveyouson (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, I waited over an hour for my bus. As I finally saw it approaching, I reached into my purse to grab my ticket. The lady next to me then gave the driver a hand signal to keep driving. FML

#20451303
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35609) - you deserved it (2878)

On 01/10/2013 at 1:13am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after I finally laid down from a long day and was about to fall asleep, I realized I forgot to set my alarm. I don't own an alarm clock and my alarm is on my phone. Which was in my car. I live on 15th floor of an apartment building and our parking garage is across the street. FML

#20439908
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35236) - you deserved it (9591)

On 01/03/2013 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my son told my daughter at some point that "real" name for Hershey's Kisses is "blowjobs." I found this out because at kindergarten she was asked what her favorite food was. The teacher wasn't happy when she called me. FML

#20452458
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34887) - you deserved it (2931)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:51pm - kids - by Grant - United States

Today, I was asked out by a friend of mine. He's a doctor and works at a prestigious hospital, so thinking we would eat somewhere special, I got all dressed up. We ended up eating at his hospital's cafeteria, because he gets a small employee discount. FML

#20453732
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34864) - you deserved it (7544)

On 01/11/2013 at 2:37pm - love - by wowthanks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. He also showed me around his bedroom. I think he forgot to remove the dartboard on his wall, taped to which was a swiss-cheesed printout of one of my Facebook photos. FML

#20434714
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34821) - you deserved it (3769)

On 12/31/2012 at 7:55pm - love - by WasZumTeufel? (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I've been struggling with my English paper for the past hour, because I can't concentrate. This is because my mom is in the room next to me, singing to her pet rat about what a cute little boy he is, in between yelling at him to stop "molesting" her. FML

#20452365
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34779) - you deserved it (2884)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:02pm - animals - by theycallmekitty (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my roommate of a year and good friend of several more decided to move out. When I came home from a long work shift, I found all the cupboards emptied out of everything, including all the new stuff I bought to replace what she was going to take with her. FML

#20438571
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34422) - you deserved it (2608)

On 01/02/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Megz (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34340) - you deserved it (9311)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia



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