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Sunday 6 January 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my wife has the flu, while I have strep throat. We have a two-year-old toddler and have no clue as to who's more contagious and who should take care of her as to not get her sick. Yay for the entire day of surgical masks and Sesame Street. FML

#20448554
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20875) - you deserved it (1645)

On 01/08/2013 at 7:26pm - health - by Curly (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20829) - you deserved it (7105)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (5912)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I had to download a parental block so my dad would stop watching porn on my laptop. FML

#20441386
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20640) - you deserved it (999)

On 01/03/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Tooyoungforthis (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML

#20445835
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20594) - you deserved it (3714)

On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (1580)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, the girl of my dreams asked me if I wanted to go biking with her. "Just the two of us," she said. I had to turn her down because I'm 17 years old and never learned how to ride a bike. FML

#20457168
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20418) - you deserved it (24994)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:25pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML

#20433319
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20323) - you deserved it (2595)

On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, while reading an erotic story I was more excited that the author used a conjunctive adverb than the sexual content in the story. FML

#20456501
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20205) - you deserved it (7841)

On 01/13/2013 at 1:39am - intimacy - by frustrated - United States (Florida)

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

#20443434
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (2904)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19818) - you deserved it (2281)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML

#20448091
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19565) - you deserved it (55424)

On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years old, with no wife or children. FML

#20445078
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (1075)

On 01/06/2013 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)



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Monday 17 June 2013

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