Thursday 3 January 2013 
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Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because I'm too "high maintenance". And that's because I ask him to use condoms when we have sex, and I refuse to invite my friends over for threesomes. I don't know why I'm not actually glad we are broken up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20595) - you deserved it (3714)
On 01/07/2013 at 3:35am - love - by kat124ever (woman) - United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East)
Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (1580)
On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)
Today, I was at a party. Everyone was drunk, and I happened to overhear someone say, "Where's that guy in the black jacket? I'm going to beat his ass!" I wouldn't have thought anything of it, had I not been the only one wearing a black jacket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20322) - you deserved it (2595)
On 12/31/2012 at 1:46am - misc - by bpruitt95 (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19922) - you deserved it (2904)
On 01/05/2013 at 4:21am - intimacy - by kblevss (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19809) - you deserved it (2281)
On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the movies with my crush, who had asked me out on a date. Assuming he'd pay, I left my money at home. When the time came to buy the tickets, he only bought one for himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19564) - you deserved it (55421)
On 01/08/2013 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous001 - Canada (Ontario)
Today, at the reading of my mother's last will and testament, I found out that despite having cared for her for the final years of her life, she denied me an inheritance. She basically said I'm an embarrassment, because when she wrote it, I was 31 years old, with no wife or children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19476) - you deserved it (1075)
On 01/06/2013 at 4:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Skane Lan)
Today, I found out that there's something my new wife hates more than spiders. Black people. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19387) - you deserved it (4101)
On 01/03/2013 at 9:19pm - health - by WellShit (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18890) - you deserved it (1237)
Today, an intoxicated gentleman stumbled into my shop requesting alcohol, which I do not sell. When I informed him of this, he expressed his disappointment by urinating on the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18866) - you deserved it (1591)
On 01/07/2013 at 6:11am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I found out I'm pregnant. My husband reacted by going out and smoking weed, then getting completely shitfaced, and having his buddies drag his nearly-comatose carcass back home from a strip club. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18860) - you deserved it (3860)
On 01/04/2013 at 7:56pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Groningen)
Today, my son volunteered to help me cut out coupons. When I got to the register at the store, I noticed he'd cut off all the barcodes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18647) - you deserved it (6521)
On 01/07/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18570) - you deserved it (5354)
On 01/05/2013 at 12:30am - love - by VampObsessed - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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