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Sunday 30 December 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was texting my mother after my boyfriend broke off our relationship. She offered incredibly supportive replies such as "No, really?" and "Aww, that sucks." before apparently getting bored and claiming she had to go because her "text reception" was breaking up. FML

#20426386
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23721) - you deserved it (4162)

On 12/27/2012 at 6:20pm - love - by youfuckingdumbassmum (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, at my four-year-old daughter's insistence, I looked for - and found - a radio station that plays "Santa music" all year round. She's ecstatic and I can't turn it off without upsetting her. FML

#20436981
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23380) - you deserved it (9951)

On 01/01/2013 at 7:18pm - kids - by christmaswillneverend - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, when I got home I noticed a statue of a gnome sitting next to the door. I've had an intense phobia of gnomes since I was a child, and I can't bring myself to walk past it. It's been half an hour and I'm still standing outside. I can see my dad through the window laughing and waving. FML

Today, my mom asked me why MS Word keeps underlining some words. After I tried to convince her that you're supposed to put a space after commas, she started yelling at me for making her look stupid. I can never win. FML

#20441192
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22473) - you deserved it (1702)

On 01/03/2013 at 5:36pm - misc - by millavitsa - Ukraine

Today, while on a first date with a charming guy, I excused myself to the bathroom. I tried to bring my purse along, since my pads were in there, and mother nature was calling. He vehemently insisted that I leave my purse, in case I was planning on stiffing him on the bill. FML

#20442878
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22132) - you deserved it (2091)

On 01/04/2013 at 7:33pm - love - by but i make different stiffies (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. He wound up drinking a whole bottle of wine, and when the bill came he drunkenly yelled at the waiter, claiming it should be free, because he's in the military "fighting for your freedom". He's a mechanic in the National Guard. FML

#20443881
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22050) - you deserved it (3656)

On 01/05/2013 at 4:56pm - love - by so embarrassed (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

#20432089
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (4662)

On 12/30/2012 at 2:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Saarland)

Today, I visited my grandparents' house. While getting a drink from the fridge, I noticed the Christmas card my family sent them had my face scratched out. When I confronted them about it, they said it was the cat. They don't have a cat. FML

#20445318
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21795) - you deserved it (1692)

On 01/06/2013 at 7:50pm - misc - by HatedGrandson - United States

Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML

#20444863
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21653) - you deserved it (7195)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:24pm - love - by lifsabtch (man) -

Today, I had a fight with my boyfriend over a girl he is close to. He later arrived with flowers for what I thought was an apology. He was actually breaking up with me; the flowers were for her, he just didn't want to leave them in the car. FML

#20442364
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (5979)

On 01/04/2013 at 9:08am - love - by damn (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized my girlfriend makes the same exact noises in bed and when she eats. I don't know if I'm a really good cook or a really bad lover. FML

#20444730
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21193) - you deserved it (2341)

On 01/06/2013 at 8:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, was my birthday. Today was also the day that my mom's cat died four years ago. She was too busy crying and looking at old photos of her beloved cat to even wish me a happy birthday. FML

#20444416
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21052) - you deserved it (1619)

On 01/06/2013 at 12:59am - misc - by Birthday girl (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, I learned that my doctor lost all of my immunization records. I can't start law school without them. FML

#20442687
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21027) - you deserved it (1323)

On 01/04/2013 at 3:51pm - health - by bureaucratic assfuckery (man) - United States (Maryland)



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